Dawn's Drivel

Update for Link

2009-08-14T09:03:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: I forgot to put a direct link in the blog for those who might not want to subscribe to a feed! Here you go! The new blog is called Eye of the Beholder. Thanks to Paul for the reminder!

New Photoblog

2009-08-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

I have a new blog, which won't replace this one, but will be where I post my photography, thoughts and techniques, links to other blogs and tutorials. I wanted a little more control over how my blog looks, and am working toward integrating it into a website, so I now have a Wordpress blog. :)

This one will stay here, a place I may come now and then to drop a thought, but will probably for the most part, remain unused except for rare occasions.

If you have subscribed, or want to subscribe, to my blog because you have an interest in my photography, please consider visiting me at my new home :)

Subscribe in a reader

Personas for Firefox | Personas by Dawn Allynn

2009-06-17T13:54:00.001-07:00

Have you ever used Personas on your Firefox Browser? I love them. I have an addition to Firefox, and to add-ons for it. I discivered Personas a few months ago, and I';m hooked. Lovely way to cheer up your computer with art!

So, yesterday I tried making one of my own. It's a first, and hopefully one of many... come see it! Tell me what you think!

Personas for Firefox | Personas by Dawn Allynn

Taking a Break and Enjoying Family

2009-06-17T11:57:00.000-07:00

Looking back toward San Antonio, NM

Ruidoso is a long way from here...

Eye catching meadows brush against the base of stark blue mountains...

The Lava Fields of Fire Valley

I don't do private time as much as I should. But every once in awhile I set aside some time for just me and the family.

This time it was because mom and sister had set aside some time at the family cabin in Ruidoso, New Mexico so that everyone and anyone who wanted to come and enjoy a week or two could come by.

So last weekend the kids and I piled in the car and drove the approximately three hour (with stops) drive to the cabin where Brian, my sweetheart, drove in to meet us. (The photos above are of the long drive between Albuquerque and Ruidoso.)

It was quiet. Not much happened. We lazed around and enjoyed the woodsy peacefulness, and the short rainstorm that blew through. It was great!

I didn't even get many photos. These are all I have, proof that I truly enjoyed a break.

Sunset view over the pines from the porch of the cabin.

Another view from the porch, and it sounds as peaceful as it looks.

Busy Person Seeking Extra Time

2009-06-17T11:24:00.000-07:00

I am terrible at time management. I am not so hot at priorities either. I have so much I want to do in such a short space of time that I get lost in it all.

I am a full time office manager, which is where I get my steady paycheck and health benefits. Part time my good friend, Tim Nisly, and I do IT consulting and repair, and this is a fairly decent income to augment my not so hot pay as an office manager. I also do the photography thing, which even if i didn't make a penny I would want to pursue because I love it so much. But these days I am making some decent money in that arena as well.

The problems come when trying to squeeze all the other things I want and need into the spaces left between those three jobs. I need a new camera, and soon, to do some of the work I have been hired to do. One of mine broke, the other isn't in great condition, and I am ready to upgrade anyway. This is about a $3,000 purchase, and I am not making that much money. But it's a priority, so I am going to make it happen by July if I can. This means I need all my jobs.

I want to clean up my yard at home, I want my relaxation space to be... well, relaxing. But this takes time and daylight, something I see little of after I get home after dark. I can live without this one, but part of me yearns.

I want to attend gallery shows held by my friends and contacts. This is important because it is the right thing to do, and smart if I want to show myself. But I seem to be working every time soemthing good is going on. I need to figure out how to make at least some of the shows.

I want to spend time with my family, whom I love dearly. Brian works all week out of town, and my kids are on the go most of the time, so weekends are it. But I have had most of my best paying photo gigs on weekends, so we compromise. (We went to Ruidoso this past weekend, as you can see in my last post. so I am at least working on things in this area.)

I have physical therapy for my shoulders (rotator cuffs) twice a week, which is helping, but taking time out of my office job, which I need to make ends meet. I also need my shoulders, so the therapy, for now, is the priority.

My blogs. I want to keep up with my blogging, my Twitter, my posts that keep me in the lop with my friends, my networks, and my family. It's not face-time, but at least it's contact.

Then I have my chickens and ducks, my dogs and cats, my laundry, housekeeping, and cooking. Visiting my mom and dad, getting my car in for an oil change, getting my hair cut, finding time to buy a new pair of jeans because my last ones are torn, keeping in touch and sending packages to a sick friend, buying groceries, cleaning out the shed I have sworn I'd clean for two years, doing the shoots with the four models I keep trying to squeeze in......

*sigh*

I need a personal assistant to keep me straight and tell me what to do.

Local Growers Offer Fresh Choices in Fun Atmosphere

2009-05-29T13:50:00.000-07:00

I'd like to say I was hip enough to find the Albuquerque Nob Hill Growers' Market on my own. But if I am to be truthful I must admit that, like most of the wonderful places and things I have discovered, this discovery came to me from someone already "in the know".

Recently I met a wonderful fellow by the name of Lloyd Kreitzer because of a photography assignment given to me by Local Flavor Magazine. Lloyd grows fig trees at his Albuquerque home, (among other things, such as grapes and pomegranate trees, he is a wunderkind) that come from heirloom 100 year-old stock.

Lloyd and I had discussed his fig trees during that shoot, as well as some pomegranate trees that he swears will thrive where I live in the East Mountains. He still had a few of these trees left, so he said he'd meet me at the Grower Market where he'd be on Thursday (last week) and I could pick it up there.

Things didn't work out with meeting Lloyd, his back was giving him problems that day. But I can't tell you how lucky I was to show up anyway. I don't know what I expected, maybe some small grungy version of a community yard sale, but what met my eyes and ears was something different altogether.

The market is at a smallish park which can be found at the corner of Morningside Drive and Lead Avenue. I used to live just down the street from this park and would take the kids there to play in the very nice play ground while I sat in the very nice grass to read. (you can see the playground in the background here.)

The market opens (or starts) at 3:00 and ends at 6:30. A wide sidewalk winds it's way down the center of the park, and this is where the marketers set up their tables and goods.

The vendors set up tables, sometimes tablecloths, and sometimes portable canopies. The fruits of their labors, (and vegetables, and produce, and bread, and some wonderful honey.... I bought mine as a slab of honeycomb.) I hadn't been there ten minutes and I realized what a treasure this place was. Not simply a farmers market, but a refreshing combination of that and a neighborhood social.

Time to meander and enjoy, taking in the day, the park, the kids playing overlaid with the cool tunes of the fellow with the guitar playing at one end of the market.

Here you don't just pick up some beets to make for dinner, you talk to the fellow who grew them. You know where they came from, what kind of fertilizers or pesticides they may have applied to their crop.

When you buy plants from one of these people to put into your own garden, you can get some real and good advice on how to make them flourish.

It's not just a shopping experience, it's relaxing, and feels good to be here.

And here's the real benefit: by buying locally you are supporting your local growers and infusing your economy in a very healthy fashion.

Because smaller plots attract fewer pests and require less pesticides local farmers local farmers can often keep the soils healthier. And since the product is grown locally less fuel and refrigerant is used shipping it all the way across the country. It's fresher, not infused with chemicals to keep it from going bad, not picked to early.
The real benefits are to us as the buyers, and to the local farmers and agricultural people we support and keep in business. Stimulating the economy up close and personal with your own neighbors.

As you can tell, I was, and am, impressed. So, another call to Lloyd helped me find Georgia Daves, the energetic woman who puts all this together. (Pictured in the Yellow apron with her son where they offer some pretty great stuff at their table. )

I asked Georgia some questions about the market, because by now I was picturing myself with herbs from my own garden, and perhaps some of my fresh chicken and duck eggs.

She was knowledgeable, efficient, and sent me on my way at the end of my visit with some paperwork and good advice.

By this time my arms were also full of produce, and I had in my hand a yummy cup of auga fresca (a fresh watermelon drink I am craving even as I write this.)

There's more photos below. (Click on any photo to see it larger.) I am sure to take more, because I'll be going back. Maybe I'll take my niece with me and let her play in the playground while I munch on fresh produce and enjoy the great tunes.

Nature and the City

2009-05-19T13:23:00.000-07:00

I know that wildlife can be found in the city, I've seen rabbits here and there, and even an occasional raccoon in the city limits. (Last year I sighted a coyote near my mothers house in a neighborhood just off of the freeway.)

Yet somehow I am always tickled when I see little wild things traipsing about in town. It's a shame they are being pushed out of their own homes, and that in times like these droughts mean that animals like cougars and bears come to town looking for food.

But I am strangely happy to see wildlife wherever it might be, even in suburbia.

So I was happy to see the following little guys nearby at a place I frequent for breakfast. There seems to be quite a few rabbits at this location. There are adults, but I have seen almost eight separate youngsters, all munching happily on the bight green and well manicured grass and clover that meets squarely with the desert. The desert foliage makes not only a visiable wall, but offers quick cover and protection for the cuties.

They were a little leary of me, but as long as I didn't make any sudden movements, and kept to the edge of the grass, they were content to act as if I weren't there.

My patience paid off, and I enjoyed several other birds swooping in for breakfast of their own, and even this Roadrunner. (Who was also strangely complacent about my presence.)

I need to find a blind, and a place to sit near the river or in the mountains all day with my camera and some quiet time. I love wildlife, and need to give myself the chance to photograph them in their own element. Hm, another good thing to add to my "To-do" list.

A Weekend on The Rails

2009-04-29T18:32:00.000-07:00

What a guy!

My sweetie asked me away for a weekend, and let me pick the spot.

I chose Durango, Colorado,where we had one of the best get-aways I have enjoyed since our honeymoon.

Durango is the starting point and home of the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gage Railroad, so we booked some seats and simply had a wonderful day.

Brian stands on the back end of the Parlour Car, where we were seated.

Everyone was super-friendly, and happy to talk about the train they work on. A wonderful piece of history and beauty. The train winds it way up through the mountains toward Silverton.

For the Love of Poultry

2009-04-22T17:30:00.000-07:00

I love chickens. I never intended for this love affair to develop, it was a by-product of my love of photography. One afternoon a few years ago I was on my way home, just before Easter, and I passed one of the local feed 'n seed stores. The sign by the road proclaimed "We have Chicks!" and my foot hit the brake.

I tell myself it was because I wanted to take photos of baby chicks, I enjoy stock photography and I had the idea that what could be cuter than a couple of baby chicks, how fun would that be to shoot? The truth is I love animals of all kinds. And my camera that day was an excuse to indulge in my desire to have a farm... to be Doctor Doolittle. To have just a little taste of what Noah might have felt like.

I didn't ask Brian what he'd think that day, I know he despairs whenever I bring home a new "pet". But he loves me, and he always accepts my adoptees. So, as my two initial baby chicks turned into over a dozen chicks and another ten or so ducks, he helped me on my trek and built me two very nice pens, and converted his well-loved shed into a hen house.

I have had my fair share of predators, everything from coyotes to owls and cats and dogs, but I have mostly figured out how to keep them safe and healthy, (as safe as any poor being can be when you are bottom of the food chain and anything bigger than you thinks you look yummy,) I lose a few now and then. Often to neighborhood dogs whom I rage against, all the while knowing it is really their owners I am angry at. Owners who don't care if their dogs run free in the streets to kill chickens or get run over by cars. Those days make me so sad.

Bu then there are days like my last few, where I go outside to check for eggs. (I don't eat my birdies, but we collect eggs) and find my hens their nests with newly hatched babies. Awww... cutes little fuzzies that chirp and peep and huddle close to mom. Gotta love 'em.

Sometimes I get asked why I keep these guys. Why I spend my money feeding chickens I don't eat, for the few eggs we collect. I don't have a great answer, watching them just makes me feel good. Watching them live and interact day to day. It's soothing, kind of like gardening. Makes me smile. :)

A View of Changing Seasons in the 505

2009-04-15T12:51:00.000-07:00

So, if you have ever been to Albuquerque, you'll know that one of the most noticeable landmarks is the Mountains, the "Sandias". I grew up under this gorgeous palisade.

It It is, on some very essential level, as much a part of me as my family. I could take 1000 photographs of her throughout the year, and you'd see she looks different every time.

Sandia means "watermelon", and I have heard this range was named so because often in the evenings as the sun goes down the mountain takes on reddish and pinkish hues.

I took this photo last week, right after one of our snow storms (a very mild one). The peak and surrounding crags are dusted with snow, and the radio and television towers almost look like some lofty city looking down on the world below. These towers are not as obvious when there isn't snow, at least not from down below. I loved this view, so I thought I'd share it with you. ::

The snows seem to have surprised everyone, I have heard lots of peeps saying how they can't believe it is snowing in March or April, but it's that unusual this time of year to have some snowfall, even sometimes in the first week of May. Not a lot of it, mind you, but we see it now and again.

What I find odd are the warm days reaching the high 70's, and the following day or two where we have snow and cold enough weather for coats, and then the next week we are back on the 60's and 70's degree range again.

This is more extreme if you take into account the weather differences from Albuquerque, to where I live in the East Mountains, just 20 miles east of where the photo below was taken. The photo to the left is a snowfall we had last week, Saturday April 11th, at my house. This was just three days after the photo below was taken on Wednesday April 8th.

On Wednesday temperatures were in the high 70's (78 at the

airport at one point), by Saturday we had pouring rain in Albuquerque, and wintry weather by any standard at home.

I am by no means complaining, I enjoy variety, even when variety means I'll have no idea how to dress for the weather from one moment to the next.

Today it is warm outside, both at home and here in Albuquerque where I sit at my desk at work. The wind is blowing (creating hell for those of us who have pollen allergies) and is supposed to have gusts up to 45 mph, which is normal with our changing seasons this time of year. I have my office door open, watching the feral kitties outside play beneath my car.

And I bet they too, are enjoying the prettier warm days that April is bringing. :)

In Praise of the Dandelion

2009-04-14T10:55:00.000-07:00

I love dandelions.

I seem to be one of the few in this category, for most people, it is a weed, to be scorned and destroyed at every opportunity. I can see why, if what you are seeking is a wide expanse of lawn that is unmarred by anything other than long pristine shafts of green grass.

The dandelion is a singularly determined species, hard to eradicate under the best of circumstances. The more you try to make it disappear, the more of them you'll see. ("What's a dandelion digger for?" a dandelion asked. "It’s a human invention to help us reproduce," another dandelion replied.)

I don't have a lawn, I have considered one, but the earth friendly person in me who hates to waste water just can't see trying to grow a lawn in the desert. It feels wasteful.

So I admire the dandelion, with all it's wonderful beauty and uses.

What uses? yeah, there a a ton of great things to do with dandelions, (if you haven't fertialized or poisoned them, mind you):

According to the UNM dandelion's are a rich source of vitamins A, B complex, C, and D, as well as minerals such as iron, potassium, and zinc, and in traditional medicine people have used dandelion roots and leaves to treat liver problems. Also, Native Americans have used dandelion's to make liquid concoctions to treat kidney disease, swelling, skin problems, heartburn, and stomach upset. UNM also mentions that Chinese medicinal practitioners have traditionally used dandelion to treat digestive disorders, appendicitis, and breast problems (such as inflammation or lack of milk flow), and in Europe, herbalists incorporated it into remedies for fever, boils, eye problems, diabetes, and diarrhea.

Prodigal Gardens a website that specializes in medicinal herbs and wild foods, has some great recipes, including:

Cream of Dandelion Soup
Pumpkin-Dandelion Soup
Dandelion Egg Salad
Dandelion Pasta Salad
Split Pea-Dandelion Bud Soup
Dandelion Blossom Syrup
Dandelion Baklava
Dandelion Blossom Cake
Dandelion Blossom Pancake
Dandelion Cornbread
Dandelion Mustard
Dandelion Vinaigrette
Dandelion Chai
Roasted Dandelion Root Coffee Ice Cream

And if you are a wine connoisseur, you can't forget Dandelion Wines.

So, up with the dandelion, I say. Healthy, useful, and always pretty as a bouquet in a tiny vase on my kitchen bar, it is less a weed to me than the grass I won't have because of water conservation issues.

Dandelion Tea, anyone?

Spring Wedding

2009-03-27T01:22:00.000-07:00

The more I do weddings, the more I love them. It is wonderful to be a part of such wonderful affirmations of love, I never fail to be humbled by the experience.

Spring is a favorite time for me to shoot weddings, I can understand why it is such a popular time to do vows.
Blooming flowers, warm weather that beckons everyone outside to celebrate new life, it is the perfect time to say I do and consecrate a new beginning.

I was lucky this past week to be invited to photograph a wedding for a long time friend and her now new husband. The Anderson wedding was held outside in the courtyard of an Albuquerque hotel, and it couldn't have been more beautiful.

The Anderson wedding was held outside in the courtyard of an Albuquerque hotel, and it couldn't have been more beautiful.

The dress was lovely, a dreamy concoction of embroidered satin and lace, a gauzy veil and classic shoes, and a glamorous tiara to top it all off.

Two of the gorgeous younger girls walked down the aisle shyly, strewing flowers for the brides walk to the alter.

The handsome groom escorted his wife, how could he help but notice how happy she was?

The reception lasted late into the evening, with dancing and toasts by many of the family members and friends. The romantic glow wasn't just an effect of the camera, the joy of the couple was palpable, and shared by everyone lucky enough to be there.

It was a sweet wedding, and a sweet couple. Lucky me to be the photographer. Pardon the pun, but I definitely got to have my cake, and eat it too!

Wild About Kitties

2009-03-19T11:00:00.000-07:00

In my work life I am a person of many coats, I do many different things to not only earn a living but to express myself in how I am growing professionally.

While photography gets me out quite a bit these days, it is not as social as I might like, and when I am doing my IT work I am usually working by myself in a closet with a sever somewhere without much chat time with real people.

This sad trend seems to apply as well to my daily hours as an office manager at an insulation company, where I can go days without seeing another human being in my office space.

This can sometimes make Dawn a lonely individual who just wants some company.

Strangely enough I have found some enjoyment and some unexpected friends in some nearby feral cats who come to my office every day.

In the beginning they were distant, nervous and unwilling to come close, but daily feedings and fresh water have brought them to my door every day as I drive up, and lately even into my office. (they have been known to peer over my desk at me as long as I don't move to suddenly). The plan is to catch them soon and have them spayed and neutered and given shots, and let them go again where I hope they will continue to brighten my day as my little feline friends.

Joy: What Makes Your Heart Happy?

2009-02-08T20:24:00.000-08:00

My entry for this weeks photo challenge from the Round Robin Photo Challenge is not a work of art or great beauty. I had to beg a plead with Brian to even get a quick angry looking shot. He is not a vain man, posing for camera's is not his thing. But he is what makes my heart sing.

My life had been a series of disasters and bad choices before Brian. I wasn't open to love, I was angry, resentful, and had been depressed for so long I didn't know there was another way to feel. Finding Brian was truly Grace. Pardon me for saying such an overly used mantra, but he gave me a new leash on life. And that is the truth.

He also took my two boys in, as if they were his own, supporting them in all the ways a father can. He's been there through the years in so many ways, and even as one of them has left home he still reaches out to him to make sure he's doing okay, offering assistance if he's needed.

He opened his own children's lives up to me, and made my little family grow from three of us to seven. I have been filled with experiences I could never have hoped for before I became a part of this family.

Brian has not only loved me, he's supported me. In my sometimes wildly swinging moods, my health issues, my drive to become a photographer or a home schooling mother, or whatever is strong in my heart. It doesn't matter of it is his kind of thing. He supports me because it's important to me, and that is all that matters. He's given me the courage more times than I can count to stick my neck and out risk, to do what I want to do, because I have him there behind me.

Recently he had a heart attack, and we've both been so lucky that he is still here. So I am grateful for every day I get with him. We are planning our wedding for Valentine's Day, and I am the luckiest girl alive.

So, again I apologize for the bad photo, he's really a cheerful and handsome looking guy when you are not pointing a camera at him. This is the photo I was able to get, and it has to be enough, because he is my Joy... I have Brian, and he makes my heart happy :)

Self-Exam

2009-02-04T09:02:00.000-08:00

A friend sent me this message via email, his answers were very cool, and had great depth. He doesn't have a blog, and so this wasn't public he sent it to me, so I don't feel good about sharing his answers. But I thought I'd fill it out, and invite you to do it yourself in your own blog, and leave a link in my comment section so I could visit and see how you filled it out.

Self-Exam

1. What person in your family are you most like, and why? I am probably most like my mother. I have my fathers mannerisms, but many of my core values, interests, and habits are most like my mother.
2. How many "really close friends" do you have? Hmm.. if I don't include family and my sweetheart Brian, I'd say about five.
3. Are you happy with the direction that your life is going in? What would you change? I am very happy with my life. In romance, family, friends, and with my work I seem to really be one of the luckiest people I know. What would you change? I think in my photography I need to get more focused, develop a plan and some goals so I am still happy with where I am at in five years :)
4. What have you accomplished, recently? I helped put together and host a huge network party last Friday for the Photography Industry Networking Group, and it was a huge success. :)
5. Did you make a New Years resolution? If so do you think you will stick to it? Yes, and yes. I said I would eat healthier and start exercising some. I think I'll stick to that. I also want to put a business plan in place, and I just need to seek some help for that one.
6. What are you most looking forward to this year? My wedding on Valentine's day! Woot!
7. What are you least looking forward to this year? I can't think of a single thing.
8. What makes you a good friend? I enjoy being there for my friends, I go out of my way to give them support and help when they need it, they always know they are cared about.
9. What's your favorite room in your house, and why? My bedroom. It's a sanctuary, relaxing and comfortable.
10. If you had two weeks to go anywhere in the world, where would you go? What a decision. I'd want to go to Ireland, I have always dreamed of going, but I think I'd have to go back to Italy, because I miss it so very much.
11. If you were given a million dollars, to spend only on someone(s) how would you spend it? I'd have to think about that. I'd like to find a way to help single mom's, but one million doesn't go far, so I'd need a way to make that money keep making money from itself so it'd go further.
12. If you could turn into any animal at will, which animal would that be? A bird, so I could fly where I wanted to go and see the world from up high.
13. Name three things you consider really bad manners. Not offering to help someone in need (like someone with their hands full when a door needs opening). Parking in a handicap zone when you're not handicapped. Going to the 15 items or less isle with 25 or more items. (Arg!)
14. When was the last time you said thank you to someone and really meant it? Friday Night, to my assistants Sabrina and Crystal at the Networking Party.
15. What do you really like about yourself? I am unusual, creative, and authentic :)

Tasty Dieting

2009-02-04T07:37:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago my fiance, who is only 42 years old, had a heart attack. I know, right? He's awfully young to be having a heart attack! Well, we figured it was coming one day, his father had his heart attack at the same age, and three bi-passes. I've been a terrible nag for six years trying to get him into the doctor, but he just won't hear of it. I think Brian just figured maybe he'd see if he'd get lucky.

Well, in a sense, he did, he didn't die of the heart attack.

Now we are on a low fat, low sodium, low cholesterol diet. That with medications and exercise is supposed to keep him from repeating the attack. I say "we" because even though I did not have a heart attack, I feel that not only will the diet be good for me, but it will help me to see what he's going through in a culinary sense and spur me to work harder to cook good foods.

And how.

It has been a terrible struggle. I am a salt addict, and no slouch when it comes to consuming fat-filled yummies. Try making a meatloaf that's low in fat and sodium and tastes good. I tried, it is not easy.

Chicken and fish are easier, but he gets so tired of those things. Never much of a vegetable person he is now exchanging his 80% red meat diet for veggies when I cook them, more whole grains, more white meats. Even the "Healthy Choice" foods are too high in sodium most the time. Pre-made meals and fast food are for the most part a thing of the past.

The other night I made a wonderful soup however, and I thought I'd share it with you. Even my kids, who hate asparagus and broccoli came back for seconds and thirds.

Heart Healthy Creamy Asparagus/ Broccoli Soup (serves approximately 8)

2	cups tender Asparagus
2	cups broccoli (with stems)
1/4	cup white or yellow onion
3	cups sliced mushrooms (any kind, I used baby portobello)
1	sweet potato (baked or microwaved until soft)
1 1/2	cup spinach
1	tsp thyme
1/2	tsp lemon crystals (available at the grocery in spice section)
2	tbsp virgin olive oil
16	oz low sodium chicken broth
1/2	cup white wine
1/2	cup yogurt
1/2	tsp black pepper
2	tbsp flour

Chop fine the asparagus, broccoli and onion, put in a frying pan with the olive oil until bubbling, then simmer until all pieces are tender, add black pepper, thyme, lemon crystals, and 1/2 of the wine. stir 3 minutes and add mushrooms, stir thoroughly and cover. Simmer, stirring occasionally until mushrooms begin to soften.

Scrape insides of sweet potato into a blender or food processor with the spinach, add 1 cup of the chicken broth and blend until smooth. Add vegetable mixture to blender and mix, adding broth when needed to keep it moving, until smooth. Pour into a large soup pot with the remaining broth and simmer on low until hot, add yogurt and stir well.

Add one or two tablespoons of flour to the skim milk (while cold) depending on how thick you'd like your soup. Whisk until there are no lumps, and add slowly to simmering soup, stirring constantly for about two minutes.

Serve immediately. Can be garnished with fresh chopped green onion, a dollop of low fat or fat free sour cream, and a dash of red chili powder if you'd like to add a spicy kick. (These items are not included in the nutritional information.)

Vegetarians can substitute vegetable broth for the chicken broth to make it vegetarian.

Hope you like it as much as we did. Feel free to make changes that suit you and your family, let me know what you come up with if you do :)

Weekend Assignment : Book Connections

2009-01-29T17:10:00.000-08:00

I haven't done assignments from other blogs in a long time. Probably because of this. However, sometimes when you have too much going on, the thing to do is step back and do something you'd like to do. :)

So, I popped over to Outpost Mâvarin (via Mike's Blog, because I noticed he had done the assignment as well) and decided to do the Weekend Assignment.

The assignment is:

Weekend Assignment #252: Where do you get books from?

The answer for me is as wide and varied as my interests.

I do most of my buying at local thrift shops, and second hand book stores, depending on what I am looking for.

With thrift shops I peruse the aisles filling my basket with whatever looks good until there's no more room in the basket or no more money for more books. I love to read, so there is a great deal that will interest me.

At used book stores I tend to have in mind books I'd like to have. For instance, if I have an entire series I'd like to own that is already in print, I'd go to Page One, or Page One 2. I can usually find what I want, in good shape, at a lower price. Which means I can buy more books. Which is huge for me because I buy so many books.

Lucky me, I have family and friends who read almost as much as I do, so many of my books are hand-me-downs. Sometimes I pass these books on, but most the time if I love the book I keep it. I am a book collector, and I have read many of my books two or three times, sometimes as often as seven or eight.

Sometimes I go to the big book stores, like Borders. But those are usually when I need a technical or how to book I don't expect to find used. Perhaps a Photography book, or a Dreamweaver Manual. These are infrequent forays, I probably visit these places less than once a year.

My mother recently bought a Kindle book, ( an e-book reader, or an embedded system for reading electronic books) which I have some interest in. She gets her books online at Amazon, and is very happy with it because it can literally store thousands of books in a tiny space. But she is limited in which books are available right now, and it is expensive. So this will likely be something I wait many years to see if it is practical for me.

Extra Credit: What was the last book you read, and why?

I am currently reading "Tigana" by Guy Gavriel Kay, because I enjoy a good fiction book to take me away from the realities of my life. And "Tigana" so far is a very, very good book. :)

Photos

2009-01-29T13:52:00.001-08:00

Thought I'd share a few :)

Exhaustion

2009-01-29T13:44:00.000-08:00

I am exhausted.

This has been a difficult winter for me.

My father had to have surgery in December to have cancer removed, and he is still having issues we think may be related.

Brian, my fiancé, had a heart attack about two weeks ago, and we've been keeping an eye on that.

My son has been chronically sick since September and we now have an appointment at the Infectious Disease Clinic to try and figure out what it is. (they think it may be something like Lyme disease or some odd something. Nobody knows.) We waited two months for the appointment we had, but missed it when Brian had his heart attack.

I have my wedding in eighteen days, and friends wedding I am photographing in 32 days, a huge event I am helping put on tomorrow (for roughly 150 people) my regular job plus all my photography work I do when I can. None of it is something I don't want to do or take care of, but it is all adding up.

I whine, and In know it. :) I am not looking for sympathy or pats on the back, just feels better sometimes when you write it down.

A Second Look At A First Resolution - Putting My Heart Into It

2009-01-26T08:17:00.000-08:00

Like many others I decided to go on a diet this year as part of my New Year's Resolution. I am about 40 pounds over where I'd optimally like to be, and I am not that good at dieting, so I tried to make the resolution something I could stick to by saying I wouldn't "diet" per se, but push myself toward a healthier lifestyle with eating and exercise. A little at a time, small steps I could handle. I wasn't doing badly, but there also was no epiphany either. If I was going to lose any weight or get any healthier it would definitely be over an extended period of time at this rate.

Then something happened that made me take a second look. And not for myself.

My fiancé of six years and I decided this past fall to finally tie the knot and make it official on Valentine's Day. Part of what made me want to lose weight is hoping to be prettier for him on our wedding day. He's also been talking about working on his weight and some other issues, but the fact that he's on the road and eats nearly 75% of his meals at fast food joints doesn't help. I haven't worried too much about it, he wasn't worried and I love him as he is (he returns the compliment generously, telling me frequently how beautiful I am, which doesn't motivate me to stop all my bad eating habits) so we've just kind of gone about our merry ways, every unhealthy one of them.

Then, on Friday the 16th, I got a call from Brian that they were going to medivac him from Roswell to the Presbyterian Hospital. My sweetie was having a heart attack.

He told me it was a minor attack, thank goodness or I would have fallen apart. I managed to keep it glued together while I waited for his plane to come in, where I ran to his side to hold his hand and listened to the doctor tell us it wasn't minor at all. If he hadn't sought treatment when he had, the results could have been very grim indeed.

I went to my mother's Friday night so I could be closer to the hospital, where I fell asleep quickly from exhaustion. Saturday I went to his room and helped his wash his hair, helped him eat past all the tubes and wires, and considered how lucky I was to have him. Saturday night I went home to our bed, where I cried most of the night in terror... how close I came to losing him, how real the loss could be, it was a wake up call.

The next day we discussed what had gone through his mind during the attack, and what was going through mine. We have five children between the two of us, three still at home. He knew his death would mean leaving us not only broken from his loss, but in serious financial need. That worried him. I could care less about the finances, but trying to picture the future without him made me feel like I was standing on the top of the Empire State Building with no railing... in a high wind storm. But I couldn't forget how important the kids are, losing either of us would be too hard on them, and we both knew some changes have to be made.

With his discharge and gradual recovery over the past week we have had to change everything in a radical way I would never have considered before the attack. He quit tobacco which I never thought he would do for anyone or anything. And no more fast food, a serious low sodium diet, low fat, high in all the greens and grains and heart healthy foods that we can cram into his picky eating habits. He's been sooo good. He even eats oatmeal now, which he hates. To support him I eat all the same things and have all the same restrictions. Not only does it help me know what he's going through so I can work to make meals appealing, but it accomplishes my original resolution in a way I had never expected.

Funny, but when I started my diet it was mostly for me, and a little for him. I wanted to be healthy and leaner, I wanted to be thinner for the fellow I love. Now it is mostly for him and I am benefiting. Hopefully we will both get a little leaner, but in the long run what I really want is time. Years more to snuggle happily with the man I'll be calling my husband in a few weeks.

Now that's a resolution worth sticking to ;)

When the Work Becomes Professional

2008-11-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

I love photography. If it sounds like I have said that before, it's because I have. Like, a million times.

Lucky me, because lately I have been doing a lot of photography work, and actually making money at it. WooHoo!

While the fine art stuff I do just because I have a wild hair is my favorite stuff to shoot, and is what I hang when I have a gallery show, the stuff that tends to pay the bills are portraits, head shots, and commercial gigs. I am getting more and more of these, and could probably have a full schedule if I were to hit the pavement and ask for more work.

Right now I have enough on my plate, but perhaps I'll start seeking more work in early December. My father has a fairly large mass that is causing him pain (located behind a kidney and pressed tightly to his aortic artery.) They are not sure what it is, but already we've heard words like "surgery", "chemotherapy" and "lymphoma", so needless to say I am worried and distracted.

However, despite the day to day anxieties and business I have, I try and focus on what's good and exciting, and certainly continued work is one of these.

Local Flavor Magazine is one of these, I've enjoyed quite a bit of work with them this past summer and recently, having shot a local radio station, KHFM, Nob Hill Bar & Grill (left), Keller's Farm Store, Que Chula!, Just a Bite Bakery & The Wild West Cafe, and this past week Prairie Star Wine Bar.

One of the pluses to these shoots is that I get to find great new places to shop and visit. Several of them I may never have seen until I dropped in to do the work, then I became an instant fan and frequently return as a customer.

Other work which has fallen my way this past year has been usually because of networking connections I have made over the years, which goes to show that hermit status isn't a bonus here. More than half the work I get comes to me by word of mouth, and you can't beat that.

A billboard I did this past Spring was this kind of project. A friend of mine for many years asked me if I would be willing to donate some work for him for a billboard. I was thrilled to do it, though I had many people tell me that free work was a waste of my time. I found that the shoot itself not only connected me to several new potential clients, but it gave me a billboard to put in my portfolio. Another bonus was that several months later when they needed professional business portraits for their employees, it was me they came to, and paid me.

I could certainly use help in the advertising and self-promotion department. This is evident if you spend any time on my website. The truth is that I get a great idea for my site and start it, then find I don't have enough time to do what I planned so I rush through it, and when it's done I hate the disaster it is -- but I have far to much work to do for someone else to fix it. This is a vicious circle that keeps repeating itself, and I am currently in the process of trying to get some professional help.

No. Not that kind of professional help, though I am sure I need it.

I'd smack myself on the back of the head for my faults, except I have grown so much better over the years that I can't help be proud at my own progress. There is, quite certainly, a great deal of work and re-focusing that needs to be done, but over all I can honestly say that where I am at now has surpassed my expectations from six years ago, and I have great plans for the future. :)

Taking Moment to Say Thank You

2008-11-11T14:53:00.000-08:00

(Thanks to Pam Roth for the Photo)

Veterans Day is important to me.

According to Info Please there were 23.6 million veterans in the U.S. in 2007. With numbers like that, the likelihood that you know a veteran are high.

Both my grandfather and my great grandfather served in the military, my father served, I served, both of my husbands served. Having been a member of the armed forces and having lived as a military wife for nine years I have known and been friends with more military personnel than I have ever known civilians in all my life. Even after becoming a civilian myself I worked for several years with an organization for helping needy and homeless veterans.

For me, celebrating Veterans Day isn't about what beliefs that either myself or anyone else might hold about politics, or the country we live in, or in war in general. It's about honoring those people who sacrifice to serve their country. And it is a sacrifice. For whatever reason a man or women joins the service, they give so much, and usually get so little in return.

They often risk their lives, they get very little pay, and if they have family even their family sacrifices. But usually the service member is happy to do it. Proud to serve, proud to know they are doing their part to keep the country they love strong.

Last year my eldest son introduced me to one of his friends, and part of the introduction was... "...and hey, my mom is a Veteran!" He told me later how proud he is when he can tell people that. It meant so much to me, because so often it easy is to feel like that part of your life is unappreciated and unimportant anymore.

If you know a veteran, tell them thanks today. Tell them how proud you are of them. They love the United States, make sure you let them know you love them back :)

Veteran's Day Tribute

When America had an urgent need,
These brave ones raised a hand;
No hesitation held them back;
They were proud to take a stand.

They left their friends and family;
They gave up normal life;
To serve their country and their God,
They plowed into the strife.

They fought for freedom and for peace
On strange and foreign shores;
Some lost new friends; some lost their lives
In long and brutal wars.

Other veterans answered a call
To support the ones who fought;
Their country had requirements for
The essential skills they brought.

We salute each and every one of them,
The noble and the brave,
The ones still with us here today,
And those who rest in a grave.

So here's to our country's heroes;
They're a cut above the rest;
Let's give the honor that is due
To our country's very best.

By Joanna Fuchs

Clowning Around

2008-11-09T22:32:00.000-08:00

Or: This Isn't So Funny

Do you like clowns? If you currently like clowns, did you as a child?

I like them well enough now, and I even recall enjoying their antics when i was about 9 years old or so at the Circus while they were crawling out of cars (you know... the classic 15 clowns in a car that shouldn't fit one grown man in it gig) and doing funny tricks. But when I think back to memories I might have of clowns before that, I don't think I thought they were funny. Or cute. Or adorable. I thought they were creepy and menacing.

Even as an adult, I can see why. Even though they are dressed in bright colors, covered in silly motif's and carrying around balloons, there is something just not right about a face with that crazy make-up on.

For that matter I can't remember my children, my nieces or nephews, or any other child I have ever known to not react with trepidation to an approaching clown, if not outright terror.

That's me in the photo up there. Hired out to be the happy spot for the kiddos birthday party. The adults thought I was a hoot. The kids cowered in fear. Mom and dad asked that I hold the birthday boy up for a shot of us together. I noticed he didn't look happy, they said" Naw, he loves you! He's just tired!"

Hmm. Dunno, I think sometimes we as parents might try to hard to live vicariously through our kids. Or maybe I am just being too serious.

After all... who listens to the clown?

Always Looking Up.

2008-11-06T22:02:00.000-08:00

It has been a full few weeks. Not good, not bad, but certainly containing element's of both.

I've had several photo shoots I was excited about, but which evaporated before fruitation, and other unexpected photo shoots which turned out wonderful.

Two shows in the past thirty days, (the second which begins tomorrow) and others up and coming.

Quality time spent with my oldest boy who I don't see nearly as often as I'd like to.

Frightening news that my father has a "mass" of unknown origin behind a kidney, for which we have to get a biopsy for on Tuesday.

Continuing arrival of paid photography work, which is certainly a good thing in this economy.

Discovering a friend whom I have long missed will be returning to Albuquerque within the next two weeks.

The thrill of watching Obama win the election last Tuesday, and knowing it was in my lifetime. And I was part of it.

There is so much, everyday, which happens in my life, and I have many years of practice in which to find the best of it all and be grateful.

It is a magical world I live in, and I am looking up.

I Voted, Will You?

2008-11-03T08:04:00.001-08:00

Ya Gotta See This!

2008-10-30T22:11:00.000-07:00

There's a new scene in town... and it's hot.

Chroma Studio's describes itself as "Chroma Studios is an Art and Music space on Central Ave. between UNM and I-25. We offer 14 studio spaces in a professional working environment. We also have a conference/classroom space available for hourly, daily or monthly rental. We recently expanded to include a gallery space. We also do framing at wholesale prices." But the description doesn't give this great place justice.

Thier Grand Opening Art Show was on Friday, June 6, 2008, and they've already had a second show, "Feathers and Flowers" and a book signing by Alyson Stanfield for her book "I'd Rather Be In The Studio", and already another show, "Albuquerque 'Scapes Photography Show".

I am excited to say I will be a part of this show, and I'd love to invite all of you, it will be great fun!

Here's the scoop:

Time: November 7, 2008 from 5pm to 8:30pm
Location: Chroma Gallery
Organized By: Paula Manning-Lewis

Event Description:
In November we are featuring a show of Albuquerque Photographers. Our featured artist for the month is Susan See, also included in the show are Jean O'Neill, Raine Klover, Kirk McGee, Dawn Allynn, Nick Giannotto, and a couple others. If you are in the area, please stop by for our opening reception on November 7th from 5-8:30 pm.

Trick or Treat!

2008-10-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Halloween and I won't be able to post, so I thought I'd leave you a treat now. (the trick is to find something worth leaving)

Here's a few jokes I thought were pretty good, and a wish that your All Hallow's Eve full of spooky fun :)

Repeat Performance

One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as
'Rocky' in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more.

"Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep a few
minutes ago?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel. I'll be back
three more times tonight too."

Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old Trick or Treating

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

Halloween Costume - IRS Agent

The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this
plain but well dressed kid, saying, "Trick or Treat!"

The man asks the kids what he's dressed up like for
Halloween. The kid says, "I'm an IRS agent." Then he takes
28% of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say Thank You.

Top Ten Reasons Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex

10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.

6. The person giving you candy doesn't fantasize you're someone else.

5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months.

4. If you wear a Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.

3. It doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. Less guilt the next morning.

1. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door.

The Devil
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"I'm the Devil," she responded.
"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister."

Open Letter to Converse (Humor)

2008-10-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever received a phone call that was a wrong number, but the caller wouldn't believe you and just kept calling back? (This is a reoccurring problem in my home, I suspect someone with bad credit keeps giving out my number when she applies for something, and when she doen't want to pay, the collection company hounds me. The must believe I am lying when I say my name isn't Janine.)

I knew someone in North Carolina where I once lived who had this problem with his business. Converse Shoe Manufacturing Company had a similar phone number (one digit difference) and he received hundreds of phone calls a week from people who wouldn't listen closely when he answered the phone and identified his business (which sounded nothing like Converse Shoes). Eventually, to keep his sanity, (back then, changing your phone number was an expensive and convoluted ordeal) he made a joke of it and responded to the calls with the best humor he could under the circumstances.

Recently I came across a letter he wrote in fun, and never sent. It made me laugh. I thought I'd share it in case you might find it humorous as well. :)

By the way... the reference to the fire and hospital phone is untrue, but it did add and extra chuckle to the mix :)

Click on the photo of the letter to get a larger, more readable image. :)

What a Great Show

2008-10-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

The Tokyo-a-Go-Go Show was a blast.

Alright, it wasn't what I though it would be, but the truth is I knew it wasn't going to be like anything I'd been to before, so all I was truly prepared for was "different".

It was great. I wish I had my pictures here so I could upload them and show you right now. Maybe next week, as I am still drowning in too-much-to-do.

So much great artwork, lots of fun and talented personalities, ton's of people meandering through, new faces great food. It was a blow-out.

Gotta love it.

Considering the Pace

2008-10-08T16:09:00.000-07:00

I don't talk about my photography much anymore. More because when I am in photo taking mode, I am usually with my camera or on my computer doing editing, uploading, whatever. When I am in writing mode, I am usually trying not to think about my camera for a few moment. Possibly because what I think of when I think in terms of my camera is too big to get on paper in a week, much less in under and hour.

In truth, my camera consumes me. I spend dang near every moment thinking about my next shoot, or my last shoot, or the shot I missed. I look at everything in terms of, "If I were going to take a photo of this, how would I want to capture it?"

I spend little time trying to figure out how to make money from my photography. I am constantly berated by friends telling me I should do more, but I tend to be so centered on the photograph itself I forget to look at it as a way to make a living.

Fortunately for me, paying jobs often come my way despite my inaction. I get emails and phone calls on a fairly regular basis looking for a commercial photographer for magazine shoots, business applications, headshots, and for portraits of various types for families. I do well enough, but I know I could do better if I were to "pound the pavement" as my father calls it. I am not, however, much of a pavement pounder.

I am in fact, a fairly easy going personality and good friend. I like to socialize, and enjoy working others on a variety of projects. This has come back to me in a positive way in that most of my current work falls into the "found it through networking" category. I know someone who knows someone who needed a photographer kind of thing.

Lucky me, eh?

Still, I am getting the sense that I am missing out, that I could do more. So perhaps I will have to change my tactics and start reaching out. It is, after all, just another way to network, hm?

Art Show

2008-10-06T13:44:00.000-07:00

I'm going, are you? :)

October 25th
Black Market Goods Art Show: Tokyo A-Go-Go!
This is a art show featuring 40-50 artists, photographers, crafters and awesome people. We are having a fashion showcase, a photo shoot, and art auction plus our regular, fun food, wine, dj, live music, and random acts of awesomeness.

Our photo shoot is going to run around 10am and we work thru the day and finish up in time to enjoy the art show.

All works will be put up on a website that will be accessible to people who are involved.

October 25th
5905 Marble NE
Show starts at 8pm
Photo shoot starts at 10am
more info @ www. mypsace. com/theangryyears
or wecandrawstuff@yahoo.com

Enchanted by New Mexico

2008-10-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

I work in Albuquerque, for the most part, and live in the east Sandia mountains. Sometimes I find myself pining for the East Coast and the beaches and huge amount of activities to be had there, or for the Northwest and it's green and lush landscapes, but for the most part I am more than content to remain here.

I can say this from the point of view of someone who has moved away for many years at a time, living everywhere from the Chicago area to Texas, from Virginia to Colorado, Mississippi to Connecticut, and even spent three years living overseas. I haven't lived everywhere, but I have had a good taste of it, and while there is a great deal to say about those places I have lived, New Mexico has an charm of it's own that I missed every moment that I was away.

My mother tells me repeatedly how sorry she feels for me that I live so far away and have to make that long drive home, despite the fact I reassure her on a regular basis that I love every minute of it. Even the drive itself acts as a time where I can wind down from whatever daily exasperation's have plagued me; the drive through the canyon from either direction never fails to wow me.

Albuquerque and her surrounding areas reminds me of a elegant woman with a wild-child-side. Offering so much in the way of culture and entertainment (more every day, every week, every year) within an easy afternoon drive. She's beautiful, well balanced, and always right there ready for whatever comes her way. Home to both the past, present and future, Albuquerque is a great place to be if you want to be part of what is current in the world.

On the other hand, it still retains that small town feeling. It's a small enough community to be able to see people you know everywhere you turn. Networking and making friends can be a fairly easy process in a place like this, where you can meet the most eclectic variety of personalities I have ever seen anywhere.

Are there problems? Sure there are. Everyone has them. But I get the sense that people here are invested in their community, and want to see good changes occur, while being willing to pitch in to make it happen.

When I came back to New Mexico about eleven years ago with my two small boys I was excited to give them a chance to grow up in the richness of this place, just as I did. And they both love it here, proud to be members of the 505 and all that this embraces. And so am I.

Pulling Out My Hair

2008-10-03T16:32:00.000-07:00

I need to rework the way I do business. I keep falling in these pits where I almost work for free, because I don't fully outline what I plan on doing, or forget do get a signed contract.

*Sigh*

Silly me, I just want it to be easy...lol!

Going, Going, Going Green?

2008-09-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how when you want to do something good for yourself or the world, it's harder or costs more?

I started a diet a couple of months ago, and found that eating right (healthy) is more expensive. I can eat crap all day for just a few dollars (take the McDonald's menu, for example) .

I decided to try and commute to work by bike and bus, and found that the bus runs at hours that won't work for my workday (I work an hour earlier than the bus arrives and an hour past when the bus heads toward my house) and stops way short of the area of town where i work. A bike costs way more than I can afford, and with winter coming isn't a real possibility. Not to mention I have kids that go to school, and there is no bus for them. Finding a carpool hasn't worked out either.

I decided to recycle gray water in my garden, but the rules and regulations for that just slayed me. Plus I can't afford a plumber to install the dang system.

We've been trying to go "green" and use the better light bulbs ($$) and use less electric, but what would really be great is if I won the lottery so I could invest in energy efficient appliances and windows, and make my heating and cooling systems more effective.

(Photo by clix)

We do what we can, and I am sure it will get easier, as all things do. (I can remember when things like microwaves and VCR's were very expensive) It's just great looking for ways to be environmentally conscious now. :)

Back in the Land of the Working

2008-08-13T14:28:00.000-07:00

I went on vacation at the end of July, long overdue if you ask me, we haven't done anything as a family in three years! The plan was to drive to Virginia, drop down into South Carolina for my step daughters graduation from the Marine Corps, and then drive the lower route home.

Unfortunately Keri has suffered a setback and won't be graduating when planned because of a knee injury, so while in Virginia we changed plans and drove north, where we visited Washington D>C, and New York City, and a bit of everything in between. We Stayed in Memphis, Tennessee and enjoyed a couple of days there, stopped in Nashville, TN, to see the full size replica of the Parthenon, visited Virgina Beach and spent five great days there, including a day at Busch Gardens, two days in D.C., and two days in New York City. The drive back took us through Pennsylvania and Indiana where we enjoyed a few more stops. All in all we went through 15 states, (not including the one we started in) and 4,585 miles, or roughly 7,379 Kilometers. The states we drove through/ visited included: Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Tennessee, Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, West Virginia, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, and Missouri.

It was a great trip, we had a great deal of fun. Photos to follow soon

So, I came back to find my subscription to DA expired (Oh No!) What looks like Billions of messages, and a pile of work on my desk that virtually ensures I am unlikely to have much free time.

Ah well, it was worth it

Politics and Me

2008-06-17T12:07:00.000-07:00

Until a few years ago I was uncomfortable with aligning myself with one part or the other. Nothing quite fit, to my way of thinking.

I am old fashioned enough to have some traditional conservative values:

Despite the constitutional right to freedom of speech I still don't think that cursing should be widely accepted in public or on television or radio.
I believe that the separation between Church and State should mean the State should stay out of religion (meaning if you want to pray in school, or have a religious symbol as part of your town or business you should have that right.)
I believe that morality is not just something that should start and end in a home, that it is society's responsibility to have a say in what it deems acceptable for the times and what should be part of larger society in general.
I believe that a strong military is important for our safety, and that we have some responsibility to assist other countries when called upon to do so.
I don't think "Gun Control" would do anything but take the right to bear arms away from law abiding citizens. Anti-gun laws only create difficulty for the legal right to own a weapon, not people who would buy the illegally. And someone who wants to kill someone doesn't need a gun to do it.

However, I am a product of my generation, and feel it's time to give up some of the backwardness of those who came before us. Children grow and learn, we as a society could stand to do the same:

I believe that someones sexual preferences are no business of anyone else, and should not be the foundation of any law that prohibits them from any freedoms anyone else enjoys.
I believe that women should have the right to have an abortion, regardless of the moral beliefs others may have in that area.
I believe that everyone has a right to believe or not believe in a religion without others creating difficulty in their lives because of these beliefs.
I believe that having a strong military doesn't give us the right to make other countries adhere to our principles, and that we should strive to be good neighbors, not bullies.
I believe the wealthy class of our nation shoulder far to little of the financial responsibilities and garner way too many tax breaks, while the middle class struggles unfairly to provide the funds for everything from business opportunities to educational opportunities for your children.
I believe that in order to be a good leader to the world in general, to be able to provide assistance of any kind, we first need to take care of our own. Our children should have top rate education, our families should have whatever support they need to provide sound upbringing for the children, and society needs to offer opportunity for higher education and jobs as they grow up. Without these the next generation will be in no shape to help anyone.

What does this make me? Before the Bush administration i would have said it makes me someone in the middle of the road somewhere who just wants what's best for America, and my own children's future. These days though I think it makes me a democrat. There is no way with the way the Republicans have driven our econmomy into the ground, lied to us about a war that is draining us without any foreseeable end, and made us rediculously unpopular worldwide. I know some people who would say they don't care about any of that, but I do. I like to get along with my neighbors, and I don't fool myself into thinking we will never need thier good will.

So how will I vote this November? I don't think it's too hard to guess. I don't know how it will turn out, last time you could have pushed me over with a feather to see that American's voted for Dubbya a second time, I only hope there is some sanity to found found this go-round.

Need More Time, or Money....

2008-06-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to revamp my website, and the more work I do the more I realize that I can't accomplish what I want to happen without learning some new skills.

But I don't have the time.

I could hire someone to do it for me, I know what I want done.

But I don't have the money.

*sigh*

Everything is so complicated.

Growing Older Isn't So Bad When...

2008-05-25T16:15:00.000-07:00

You can see what you created in your younger days is worth while :)

My oldest child, Logan will be turning 20 tomorrow. What a handsome lad.

You can see what you created in your younger days is worth while :)

My oldest child, Logan will be turning 20 tomorrow. What a handsome lad.

He's artistic, creative, outgoing and independent. He enjoys dancing (particularly break dancing) and stenciling, he works with developmentally disabled adults, and is hoping to be a trainer for others in his field of work.

I'm proud of him.

Happy birthday sweetheart.

Out for the Day, Feeling Low

2008-05-19T14:22:00.000-07:00

I am not one to bring my personal stuff, for the most part, to my journal at DA, I don't mind when other people do, but it's just not me.

But I find myself today unable to concentrate, and uninterested in the internet as a whole. As I mentioned in my last deviation, a friend of mine passed away last week and I just found out about it.

Kirk was a good guy, he came through Albuquerque some years ago on his way to other places and his car broke down. I met him through the veterans organization that I had been working for, (Kirk and I both were Veterans) and we became fast friends. A short time later he also came to work for the same veterans group, and he loved it. He was happy helping other people, excited to know he was making as change in other peoples lives.

Kirk and I grew close, and I got to know him very well. He loved New Mexico Green Chili, (there's nothing else like it, anywhere else) and he loved those little plastic trolls that have the fuzzy heads. He enjoyed fiction books especially the ones written by Terry Goodkind, The Sword of Truth fantasy series. He liked good movies, nature walks, and odd comedy bits. He liked to see other people smile more than almost anything.

He helped me pick out one of my dogs, Rua Cu, who at the time was cute and reminded us of a big red beagle with big girlie lips (He called her "Butter Lips" quite often, interjected with funny names that were a play on her real name like "Rua Poo" and Rua Chew" depending on the no-no's she was involved in at the moment.)

Kirk had a problem at times with substance abuse, but his last letter was filled with excitement that he'd been clean for years, something I am so glad of now, I know it was something he was proud of. He eventually moved back home near his family, who he spoke of often and wistfully while he was here. I know he was glad to be close to those people he loved most in his life. He struggled at times with inner demons that made staying in one place difficult, and so one day he moved on again, though we kept in touch. The last few years we wrote less and less, as some friends often do. He mentioned he had cancer, but I thought we had more time to chat. (Isn't that the way it always goes? I thought I had learned my lesson with John Ronin, a close friend of both Kirks and mine who was killed by a car ... but it seems I didn't...)

I got the note yesterday that Kirk had succumbed to cancer, and I didn't react fully, I guess I was numb from shock. It set in today while I was at work, and I find myself unable to concentrate on simple asks, I am so sorrowful.

Even though we hadn't been in contact so much, this is harder, knowing there is no chance now to speak to him. So I decided it would be a good idea to write about Kirk, remind myself why we were such good friends, and introduce him to you all, who never had a chance to get to know him, but should have.

I am going to take a day or two off from the computer, take some time to get myself back together and say goodbye privately. I'll be back soon, thanks for letting me share.

Poker Party Fun

2008-05-03T08:28:00.000-07:00

Every couple of years my sister gets a wild hair and has a poker party.

My sister loves parties and goes all out for them. Between the two of us we've hosted 70's parties, Luau's, and a couple of other themed parties complete with all the decorations. They are great fun to attend.

The poker party is fun, because it is an all-ladies event, and everyone comes dressed as a guy. It's a little odd, but a ton of laughs.

This year one of the ladies, Mattie, took some great photos and made a scrapbook of the images, which I thought I'd share with you :)

Illness and Absences

2008-04-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

I've not been answering my messages or notes this past week for the most part, because I have been sick. The kind of sick when you start thinking if you die in your sleep it would be alright, cause at least you wouldn't feel bad anymore... heh. I am not totally better, either. I've gotten sick with something else, or I've gotten new symptoms, but this isn't as bad as last week, so I can function. It'll be a few days before i get around to doing all the catch up I need to do though, so If you haven't heard from me, have patience... I'm getting there

My Little Bit of Heaven

2008-04-11T14:13:00.000-07:00

I have a humble garden in my front yard. It is a odd mix of strawberry's, mint, lemon balm, basil, perennials, annuals, wildflowers, artichokes, pumpkin plants, and whatever I might find of interest at the green house. Peppered liberally in this garden are my benches, my birdbath and assorted garden decor pieces. It is by no means a piece of art, I'd win no awards, but it soothes me.

Every year it is the same thing. I go outside sometime in spring and think, "Wow, this is a mess, I should clean this up!" And then I wait about a month before I do. Buy then it is a ridiculous amount of labor to pulls the weeds, figure out what is not weeds, and trim and rework what I have this year. By then I want more plants, so I go to the nursery and buy some new stuff, (half of which will die because it doesn't do well where I live, or needs more sun).

My garden really should be on the other side of the house, but in the front yard is where we brought in top soil five years ago and it is the only place capable of sustaining life, unless it's weeds. (even the weeds struggle, however, so things like the tomato plants I crave have no hope.) The sun there is better, but the garden hose doesn't reach either. Poor me, I am so deprived.

Sometime during midsummer it starts to look good, and I can go outside and enjoy a book and a glass of tea in the middle of my lemon balm and mint (my favorites) and I begin to hope that my vegetable plants will yield some kind of fruit. (the photos above and below are from last year, btw... I can only hope some of these plants will look so good this year.) Invariably something goes wrong (Like having chickens who eat all my blooms, or too many grasshoppers if my chickens stay out of the garden.)

can

Anyway, it is that time of year. I am ready to start cleaning up, but it is just now getting warm so I may wait a few weeks. I'll keep you posted :)

Oh Look! It's Baby Ducks!

2008-04-05T15:58:00.000-07:00

I have something cool to tell you.

But before I do I thought I'd share the following, and see if any of you can translate?

M R DUX
M R NOT DUX
O S A R
C M WANGS
C M B D I’S
LIB... M R DUX!

So, on to the news.... (drum roll please...)

Two days ago I went to the feed and seed (to buy feed and seed) and I bought...

Ducklings!!

Yup! Those itty bitty things that go waddle, waddle, quack, quack!

Oh, the pictures right now aren't so great, because they move around constantly, and the lighting where I have them sucks, but they are soooo cuuuuute!

Now, I know this isn't great news for anybody else, but seeing as I have no one else to share it with, I am sharing with you

There's more pics in my scraps if you'd like to see (with chicks and a blue chicken and Turkey babies too...) hopefuly I get something good enough soon to put in my gallery

Why I Offer my Stock Photos (for free)

2008-04-02T12:56:00.000-07:00

Some of you may not be aware of it, but I offer my photos for other people to use.... FREE.

I got started sharing my photos online because a friend of mine looked through my pics and said "Wow, these are pretty good Dawn, you should sell them as stock!" I didn't know what stock was, or where to share it even when he explained. But once I understood what he was talking about, out I went to sell my great photos.

Except they weren't so great.

Of course I didn't know it then, to me they were fantastic and my fan club (friends and family) all coerced me into believing I was the next Ansel Adams. But enough rejections form the stock agencies cleared that issue up for me. I couldn't get anyone to take my images to sell.

My buddy said, Hey! no problem! Try SXC! ([link]) It's a place that gives stock images away for free, and you can practice you photography with them until you get good enough!

So off I went and submitted my images.... and they accepted about 2 out of every 10. (Those odds crushed me, let me tell you.)

I've been with SXC about four years now, and my acceptance level has grown exponentially. My rejections are now about 1 in 25 (and well deserved usually.) I now sell my best stuff at paysites, and take the rest and offer it here and at sxc.

But sometimes I have other photographers I know locally who ask me why I'd even consider letting someone use my photos for free.

So, here it is:

1. I am not going to do anything else with it, so why not?

2. I've had a ton of publications, many of which I have tear sheets for, worldwide. Those publications have helped my portfolio more than any sale I have ever made. EVER. (you can see a list of some of those publications here: [link])

3. The models I use for my images frequently get tear sheets or other items they can use for their own portfolios, which has made me fairly popular with the local models.

4. Every time I think I am getting good at photography, I can look through what I have offered in past years and realize how far I've come, and how far I have yet to go.

5. I get far more critiques from the free stock I offer, which gives me some basis on which to decide what I need to work on.

6. Some of the people who've used my stock have helped me learn better PS techniques, as well as helping me know what kind of stock is most needed.

So, thanks again to everyone who not only uses or collects my stock, but who sends me links so that I can see how it's been used. Hopefully your interaction will bring much more and better free stock photos to come

On Volunteering

2008-03-18T20:22:00.000-07:00

I am a big believer in volunteerism.

It benefits everyone involved if the person volunteering gets into the right field.

I have volunteered for a variety of causes over the years, from help hot lines to meal delivery for the needy, from reading to the elderly to fixing the computers of an agency that helped homeless veterans. I've served meals to the homeless on Thanksgiving, helped draft strategic plans for small non-profits, and taken photos for animal shelters. Sometimes these volunteer opportunities have led to long term work for me. Most often they have led to making new friends, and having a better undersstanding of my community and the people who I live and work around. Always it gives me a sense of just how fortunate I am, and how important it is to give to others to appreciate what i have myself.

This past year I have tried to volunteer again for an artists group as a board member, (I have been feeling something missing from my busy and often self-centered life as of late) and just recently realized how little time I really have in my own life. So I had to resign after about a year of service, (which I am still glad I did, despite how harried I am at the moment) and I feel as if, somehow, I am doiong something wrong.

Perhaps it is the fact that I hold myself to such high standards, I am frequently told by my buddy Tim that I "put myself out there" too much, that I don't allow myslf to have any time for just me. I have a hard time saying no, and absoultely "no" difficulty in saying "yes".

So I said "no" this time, for awhile anyway. I suspect it won't be too long before I get myself buried in too much responsibilty again.

Thinking About Others

2008-03-18T11:45:00.000-07:00

Ah, it's been a long week with much going on. How can there be so much to do and so few hours in the day?
I've been updating my website, and I launched it without finishing it, which I think now was a mistake. But with so much other work to do it's hard to make time for personal projects. I shouldn't consider my website a "personal project", but that's the way it is.

A good friends home was broken into last night and she and her daughter lost everything. She'll get some of it back, but as in a fire, the things you can't replace are those times that are important not because they have a material value, but because of the emotional attachment one has to the memories that are built in. She has things that had been given to her by her mother, and her grandmother that are irreplaceable, and it's breaking her heart. I am going to help her clean up today, but I am saddened that the work my hands do can't heal her heart.

My youngest son joined track this week. He had to have new shoes so we went to buy them yesterday. I was stunned at how much a good pair of running shoes cost. He paid for part of them with money he has saved himself, but I took care of the bulk of it. He needs so many other things, but he asks for so little. I have good kids. Makes you want to do so much for them when they are so thoughtful

I am getting ready for a road trip this week. I have two shoots out of state and have decided to drive rather than fly so I can do some personal photography along the way. I'm having to do this trip alone because it's during the week and my friends are working themselves, so part of me is wishing I'd have company. The other part of me knows this will be a great opportunity to enjoy the landscapes and find the time to enjoy my own company.

Surrendering to an Obsession

2008-03-11T09:06:00.000-07:00

I admit I am addicted.

Yes, it's true.

I have tried to deny it, but even my mother will tell you she throws her hands into the air because she's not sure what to do about it.

I have been told quietly by business owners that I must stop, or leave the premises.

My kids have begged me to be more normal, my behavior in this matter embarrasses them.

I have considered purchases for my addiction, even when I am struggling to find the extra money to buy myself lunch. (Don't worry, I do feed the kids and take care of their needs before my own compulsions)

I give in to this fixation no matter where I might be, regardless of the weather or my own health. I can't help it.

...and yes, most of my friends help me continue this addiction, they too in some way have their own compulsions and understand mine.

But at least it's just my camera, it could be worse... eh?

Updates on the Poultry :)

2008-02-16T09:49:00.001-08:00

Last September I introduced everyone to my chickens, who I had lost many of during the summer due to a feral cat that had decimated my once thriving flock. So many of my little bitties that I loved and raised since May were gone, and I had started over in July. I was worried that going into winter was going to be hard on them, they were fairly young. My sweetie, Brian, worked for several days to build me a chicken pen and hen house, and surprised me with some new Rhode Island Reds, a couple of White-crested Black Polish Chickens, and a young turkey of undetermined gender.
(You can see where I was at back then at this post: http://dawnallynn.blogspot.com/2007/09/raising-poutry.html )

It's February now, and we haven't lost a single bird since Brian put up the pen. In addition to the chickens and Turkey, I acquired a rooster and three ducks. :)

The rooster we named Allard, (Teutonic for nobly resolute) and came to use via another Freecyler looking for homes for two roosters. The roosters fought too much, (which is why the previous owner had needed to find them new homes) so we found a home for the more aggressive of the two, and Allard seems fairly happy with his small harem. The rooster we passed on went to another Freecycler who had a lonely flock of hens also here in the East Mountains.

At first there was some issues between Yuma (the Turkey) and Allard, but they seem to have worked things out. These days the two of them even roost together in the hen house. The roosting boxes I have in the hen house go almost all the way to the ceiling, and they sit up there like co-conspirators watching over everyone sleeping below. We have four boxes on the shelves, which some of the hens enjoy, but we also have two boxes lower down as well as an open cage which two of the hens prefer(This is where the hens currently are laying eggs). One of the lower shelves has a space beneath it about 20" high and about 52" deep. The ducks have taken a liking to this area, and they leave an egg about every two days.

Here's Allard, the second in the second image he is crowing. :) I love it.

Here's the new ducks :) From a lovely family in Albuquerque who were having problems with their ducks picking on the chickens. These guys are currently named"Dawn, Pat, and Quack Quack". We are thinking about renaming Dawn and Pat, since we have a Dawn and a Pat in the house and it is confusing. We haven't figured out any new names yet.

The white duck is a Pekin, and is a male. We may get him a Pekin female when summer comes. We are going to build a larger pen so there is plenty of room for them as well as any ducklings. The black ducks with the red heads are Muscovy's, and are quackless. One is a female and one is a male. I put the baby pool in the pen and have kept it full of water, the ducks have enjoyed it some, though it's been full if ice or slush the last two days. I throw bread pieces down for them to snack on, but they love it when we toss the bread into the edge of the pool. Maybe it's easier to swallow wet. The hardest thing with the ducks is keeping the water clean in the water bowl, I can put fresh water in there and ten minutes later they've muddied it. I go out every morning and evening and give them fresh water, and break up any ice in the pool.
We dropped a pallet next to the pool so everybody can reach the pool easily. The chickens aren't interested in swimming, of course, but they do drink from the water.

While in this picture it looks like the duck and the rooster are being amiable, in truth Don is cornering Allard because he's decided he's mad at him. Allard runs around for a few minutes and then flies up to roost high where Don can't reach him.

I'm not worried about it, Allard is
capable of defending himself just fine. :)

Yuma has grown a great deal since last fall. He is fairly friendly, though he doesn't want to be held or touched. He does like to eat from your hand, and prefers to be fed lettuce this way. (He won't eat it off the ground.) The center image below is Yuma looking up at me, hoping I'll feed him something. The third photo below is Yuma showing off his plumage. He's a doll.

Right now I have one Barred Plymouth Rock Hen, an Araucana, Six Rhode Island Reds, two White-crested Black Polish chickens, and Allard. I don't know what kind of Rooster Allard is.

Plus the ducks and Yuma that's 15 birds. Gotta love em.

It snowed last night, and the birds didn't seem to mind at all. I went out this morning and fed them some strawberries, grapes, fresh corn on the cob,lettuce and bread. They were pretty happy. :)

Moments of Parental Pride

2008-01-28T11:36:00.000-08:00

Everyone thinks their own kid is a genius, and I am certainly no exception. But I don't usually brag.

But right now I am going to take a moment to do just that.

My twelve year old, David, has a history of fighting and bad grades a poor attitude and low threshold for paying attention. This year he has made quite a turn around, and I am so proud of him. He doesn't fight anymore, his attitude has improved, he does his own homework with very little prompting, and his grades are mostly A's and B's with a couple of C's.

Wow.

What most impresses me is how far he's come in his academics, his grasp on what it all means.

Some examples are:

During the Iowa primaries we were watching when the final stats came in and some of the candidates had tallies like 49% or 52%, but a couple had 0%.
One of my boys said,
"Wow... it would be embarrassing if you got 0%, nobody voted for him!"
David, without missing a beat, said,
"0% doesn't mean he didn't get any votes, it just means no enough people voted for him for it to count as at least 1%! If there are 200,00 voters, and less than 200 people vote for him, that doesn't equal 1%. "

I was amazed. He said he hadn't talked about that in school, that it just made sense.

Then, just yesterday on the way home in the car he was telling me what he'd been watching on television. He said he didn't understand why President Bush would have pushed us into war without proof of WMD's. We were discussing that when he said, "We need to get out of that war. We are spending billions, and that money could keep us from getting into this Recession everyone says is coming."

It's not whether he is right or wrong that impresses me, it's that he is paying that much attention, and that he cares about it all all. I didn't get into political discussions at 12 years old.

It's cool to see your kids grow up, watch them change and become adults in thier own right. It's these moments that make it all worth it. :)

Website of the Day

2008-01-24T12:19:00.000-08:00

I like information. I really enjoy it when it's given to me in a way that is comprehensive and interesting.

Two days ago I learned about ZipSkinny.com, which has nothing to to with zippers or dieting and everything to do with finding information about any US zip code.

I first checked out my own zip code, and found much of the information therein depressing, if not true. I do live in a rural and not wealthy portion of the state.

I next checked out the zip code in Hawaii where my son is moving to in May. It does have some relevant information, which he found helpful.

What does your zip code say about you and where you live, do you think the information is accurate?

Visiting Other Bloggers

2008-01-24T11:35:00.000-08:00

I like to read other peoples blogs, but I am more of a lurker than a poster myself. Heck, I have a hard time posting regularly in my own blog. But lately I have felt like reaching out and participating more. So I've been visiting some of the blogs of my old pals from AOL from back when i had my own blog there. Great people, and good posts.

One of my favorites is Paul's Blog, Aurora Walking Vacation. He also does Cowboy Poetry and Not Cowboy Poetry. All worth visiting if you get the urge. ;)

Anyway, today I found the following Meme on his blog, and thought I'd like to answer it, so here goes.

1. What is your name? Dawn, and Alba when I lived in Sicily. I miss the nickname, but I feel silly using it here.

2. How old are you? 43, which seemed incredibly old ten years ago and seems fairly young now.

3. Where are you from? That is a hard to answer question. I have grown up so in many places, lived in so many others where I felt very at home. I currently live in the mountains of NM, so I claim that, and I feel at home here. Is that an answer?

4. Do you smoke? Not for many years, and I am so glad I quit.

5. Do you drink? Yes, sometimes moderately and responsibly, at other times I over do it some. Most of the time not much.

6. Do you have a family? Please explain, if yes. Yep. Big family, Myself, my hunny Brian, and our five kids together, Logan, Keri, Mitchel, Patrick, David.

7. What are your hobbies? Photography, Design, Reading, Writing, Gardening, My pets. (Three dogs, a cat a ferret, eleven chickens and a turkey.)

8. What is your favorite ice cream? Hmmm, depending on my mood, something with caramel and buts, or a raspberry sorbet.

9. What is your favorite animal? Felines in general. I love cats, of the domesticated and wild variety.

10. Do you wear glasses? No, but I should.

11. What nationality are your ancestors from? I have some Irish, some German, some English, some Hispanic, some Native American, and those are the ones I know of for sure.

12. What color is your hair? Reddish brown. No gray so far. (Hurrah!)

13. What are you wearing now? Long Johns, sweat pants, a turtle neck and a red sweater over the top. I am cold, and this is what was clean this morning.

14. What is your favorite color? If I am wearing it, I like black, though I love all earth colors. If I am paiting a room I like creamed coffee or something like it. Mellow and soothing. If It is about being outside I love bright green and blues. If I am dressing a model, I am obsessed with red.

15. What teacher do you remember most from your childhood? In high school I had Betty McKiethan, for art. She influenced me in ways that still impact me. Also Mrs. Smith, for History, who gave me a love for all things in the world, and a hunger to always know more.

16. What are your pets and their names? Dogs: Rua, Ziggy, Luke. Cat: Willow. Ferret: Momo. Chickens: Dixie, Daisy, Rosie, (the rest don't have names yet.) And my turkey Hagar.

17. What is your favorite food? I love food, and there are no favorites. But I enjoy spicy stuff, hot stuff, good sauces and unusual combinations. Most things international, and thing that challenges my pallet. :)

18. What is your job? I do a lot. Too much ;) I am full time Office manager for a mechanical insulation company, I own a photography business which I do about 20 hours a week, I am a co-owner of a IT consulting company, a board member at the New Mexico Art League, and a volunteer for the Albuquerque Animal Shelter. :)

Now, I need to get back to work. Hehe....

Cloverfield

2008-01-22T13:56:00.001-08:00

I am a big fan of Sci-Fi movies, End of the World genre flicks, and sometimes good Horror movies. When I first saw the trailor I knew I wanted to see Cloverfield. However, after reading some reviews of it on IMDB, (careful reading some of these reviews there are lots of spoilers), I changed my mind. It sounded too disjointed, and like something that might cause me to walk away with a headache and motion sickness, something I am not willing to pay the price of a theater ticket for.

My kids, however, made a big deal about seeing it, and I found myself interested again, so I saw it today. I am not in the habit of doing movie reviews, but my preconceived notions about whether I'd like Cloverfield or not were so off base, I felt like I ought to post something.

The premise of the movie is that a group of people are throwing a going away party for one of their friends in New York City. One of the guys is given the job of recording the revelers, and so becomes the mode in which we see the rest of the movie, through the lens of his personal video camera.

This does mean that there is a lot of jolted, jerky scenes, and when I say a lot, I mean almost every frame. (Reminds me of when I first started using my own home video camera, I can hardly stand to watch some of these old movies because they are so badly done). Though Cloverfield obviously and intentionally makes the film bouncy and often hard to follow, it works well for the story being told here. If it were too smooth, you would not be able to believe these characters are running in terror, in fear for their own lives.

Though the cast, (Michael Stahl-David as Robert Hawkins, T. J. Miller as Hudson "Hud" Platt, Jessica Lucas as Lily Ford, Odette Yustman as Elizabeth "Beth" McIntyre, Lizzy Caplan as Marlena Diamond, Mike Vogel as Jason "Hawk" Hawkins) are not big name actors, they deliver a well executed performance. The dialog both before and during the monster attacks serves to connect you to the characters and give the sense that they might be people you know.

This is not a feel good movie, if you're looking for one you might want to check out something else. But this was, for me, surprisingly believable, and I might even like to watch it again. If my review were to count for anything, I'd give Cloverfield two thumbs up. :)

Rough Week (s)

2008-01-16T12:58:00.000-08:00

It's been a hectic week or two. If it could go wrong, it has gone wrong. We ran out of propane, which is both how we cook and heat our home, about a week ago. Several days before that our car was involved in a six car collision in the canyon just outside of Albuquerque (driver hydroplaned on ice and crossed over the median head-on into traffic. Brian was in the car, and had no injuries, but it totaled the car.) Two days later we ran out of Propane at the office, and the propane company said they were out of propane and it would be a week before they got any in. I borrowed my mothers car, which has no heat, and so I have been suffering in the cold more than a bit. (We can't afford to fill the tank at hoe until we fix my car situation, not enough money to go all the way around.

In short, it has been a difficult week or so.

I find myself fearful at all this talk of recession, thinking that if things are hard now, how bad it could become if the economy were to take a nose dive.

Even so, I am not good at focusing on problems. Call it optimism or Ostrich Syndrome, but it seems pointless to dwell on what you can't change right now.

I have been enjoying the company of my eldest son, Logan, who has been home for a couple of days sharing transportation with me. My youngest isn't as social with me, but he's doing pretty good in school, and has been developing a more grown up personality. Coming into his own, so to say. It's fun to watch.

I have an itch to do a photo session, so hopefully soon I'll have more to share in that area, until then, it all good wishes to all of my friends out there. :)

Find of the Day

2008-01-11T09:14:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I didn't find this today, but I am sharing it with you today.

Freecycle is a great idea, an I joined it a few weeks ago. I found it through a friend initially a couple of years ago, but never joined because... uh well, I don't know why.

Anyway, here is a brief history of Freecycle as found on their website at Freecycle.org:

"On May 1st, 2003, Deron Beal sent out the first e-mail announcing The Freecycle Network™ to about 30 or 40 friends and a handful of nonprofits in Tucson, Arizona. At the time Deron founded The Freecycle Network, he worked with a small nonprofit organization, RISE, which provides recycling services to downtown businesses and transitional employment to Tucsonans in need.

As the team recycled, rather than watching perfectly good items being thrown away, they found themselves calling or driving around to see if various local nonprofits could use them. Thinking there had to be an easier way, Beal set up that first Freecycle e-mail group in a way that permitted everyone in Tucson to give and to get. Freecycle was off and running.

The Freecycle concept has since spread to over 75 countries, where there are thousands of local groups representing millions of of members -- people helping people and "changing the world one gift at a time." As a result, we are currently keeping over 300 tons a day out of landfills! This amounts to four times the height of Mt. Everest in the past year alone, when stacked in garbage trucks!

By giving freely with no strings attached, members of The Freecycle Network help instill a sense of generosity of spirit as they strengthen local community ties and promote environmental sustainability and reuse. People from all walks of life have joined together to turn trash into treasure."

I happened to find two groups in my area, one in Albuquerque and one in the East Mountain area. I joined both, but find myself contributing mostly to the Albuquerque Freecycle group because that is where I spend most of my time.

So far I have found a home for a bunch of books, some clothes, toys and blankets, counter tops and a sink, vertical blinds, and a few other items. I have picked up some winter coats, a wood burning stove, and a Christmas tree stand. I have seen everything from piano's and televisions to cans of stray buttons offered. I simply can't get over it.

It's handy, it's easy, and it does good for everyone: the environment, my family, and anyone who participates. Can't beat it.

My Son Likes Zombies

2008-01-10T14:14:00.000-08:00

So I saved a link to a website with a short story about zombies, because it's hilarious , and somehow touching, if you like Zombies.

In case you like zombies as well, I thought I'd share the link with you. Even if you don't care for zombies, it's an interesting read. :)

I AM A ZOMBIE FILLED WITH LOVE

Find of the Day

2008-01-10T07:37:00.000-08:00

I am one of those people who constantly reminisce about "the good old days". Back when people had manners, what you ate was what you thought you were eating, and there was no question about whether burning the American flag was okay or not.

But like many people, I have new age senility. I forget sometimes with though so much might have gone wrong with the world in the past decades, so much has also gone right. The advance of health and technology, human equality and rights are on the rise, and of course the internet.

It's little ads like the ones I found today, the following being an example, that remind me that the Good old days weren't necessarily better in all respects, just different. There are some things I miss from way back when (like cleaner air) and there are things I don't miss (see the ads for more examples.)

Can you name ten things you liked about the good old days, and ten things you don't miss at all?

Giving a Little of Yourself :)

2008-01-08T21:53:00.000-08:00

Are you lining up your New Year resolutions? Have room for an extra one that will cost you nothing, do a ton of good, and take mere seconds? Pick one of the causes below, make it your home page, and click the "Click Here to Give -- It's Free Button". It costs nothing, and every click counts toward donations from sponsors.

I've been doing it for about three months now, I don't even notice it anymore, and the feeling of knowing I am doing something (even something as tiny as "clicking") it a nice one. :)

Hunger
Breast Cancer
Child health
Literacy
Rain Forest
Animal Rescue

BTW, each topic also has some great items in the store, and your purchases also fund each cause. It's a win - win situation!

When Professionals Can't be Professional

2008-01-06T14:32:00.000-08:00

This man drives me nuts.

He has always seemed to me to be insincere and full of himself. This perception was only heightened when I heard that he had visited Brittany Spears (without her request) and then gone on public television to let all of the watching world to know about the visit and his opinions of the matter:

"My meeting with Britney and some family members this morning in her room at Cedars leaves me convinced more than ever that she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention," McGraw told the programs.

"She was released moments before my arrival and was packing when I entered the room. We visited for about an hour before I walked with her to her car. I am very concerned for her," he said.

If I were Spears or her family I would be beyond upset that this "professional" was spewing my personal information to the public without any justifiable cause. Does he think talking about confidential patient information on television will make her better?

Now, I am not defending Brittany Spears. She evidently has plenty of issues that need addressing. But the paparazzi hounding her surely hasn't helped any, and I can't see that having "Doctor Phil" visit and then talk about her disparagingly on television hasn't made her more willing to seek professional help.

There's a line between entertainer and heath professional, that this man needs to find. Perhaps he should seek some professional help.

**Update: I found this link: Gallery of the Absurd. It succinctly mirrors my own feelings about Hollywood.

Last Photos of the Old Year

2008-01-04T15:01:00.000-08:00

I ended 2008 on a good note, with a photography session with a gorgeous model and good friend of mine Maria Erikson. She's from England, though she travels so much I imagine she feels at home just about anywhere. Visiting the states again for about a month, Maria chose to spend the holiday with my family and I, which was a treat for everyone. She has a wonderful and winning personality and she fit right in as if she'd always been there. I only hope my rowdy family didn't make her wish she'd stayed in England. ;)

The day after Christmas Maria, Crystal (who has moved to Idaho and was also visiting for the holiday) popped in the car and drove to the top of the mountain and took photographs. Most of them are nudes, or close enough to being nudes, so I am not posting them here. But I have one head shot I'll share with you, and when I have a gallery up where you can see the rest of them I'll make a link for those of you who might want to see them.

Here's the Photo:

It's not my favorite, but I like it all the same, the backlighting particularly. Maria is a great model, very experienced and lots of fun to work with. I met her through One Model Place when I hired her for a day, and we hit it off. Lucky me. :)

Stumbling Around

2008-01-04T14:43:00.000-08:00

I am one of millions of people who signed up for StumbleUpon , a toolbar that is added to your Firefox or Explorer toolbar so that you can "Channel surf the internet ... to find great websites, videos, photos and more based on your interests. "

A friend turned me on to StumbleUpon (Thanks Tim!) and I have been addicted to it ever since (Not so much thanks Tim! lol!)

I am not kidding when I say addicted. I spend a great portion of my internet time (which is no small amount, but I won't divulge the hours, since that would qualify me for ridicule) on StumbleUpon, which has become more than a toy for me, but a true tool which helps me find what I am looking for more efficiently, among other things.

Today, however, I have been simply playing around.

I Stumbled on a site called The Scribbler, another wonderful contribution from Zefrank.com The title is very self descriptive. You get a small white space in which you can draw a simple or complicated image, and then you click a button that says "Start Scribbler". Then it scribbles your image into a fun piece of art. There are some basic setting changes you can make to The Scribbler, such as color, line width and opacity. But basically it is a matter of drawing an image that The Scribbler can convert to a... well, scribble.

Here's my scribbles for the day:

You should drop on over to The Scribbler and try doing one of your own :) If you do, send me links, I'd love to see what you've come up with!

Out for awhile

2007-10-12T23:52:00.000-07:00

Not like I am "In" too much, but this is notice I will be "Out". I was diagnosed this summer with a uterine problem that could cause me some long term health issues, and I have already been sick off and on for the best part of two years. We've agreed that having a hysterectomy will be the best thing for my health, and I will be going in on the 15th of this month.

So if you haven't seen me for awhile... I haven't died. ;)

To keep you busy while I am gone, here's some fun, free, and safe for your computer online games to play. :) Think of me if you're having fun!

Assorted Fun Games (addictive)
Arcade Games

"Fallen"

2007-09-06T21:08:00.001-07:00

Well, as promised here is one of the images from today';s shoot.
It's titled "Fallen".
Not my fave, but my faves all have too much nudity for my blog. ;)

It was a productive day, which is the best I can say at the end of any day.

The Anatomy of a Photo Shoot

2007-09-06T17:47:00.000-07:00

I go to extremes when I am doing shoots, spending way too much money, making costumes, investing in make-up and other supplies. I rarely, if ever, recoup my money from the shoots. But that's okay, I love doing it. So, for now, that's enough.

Crystal, (my friend and assistant) and I have been planning a shoot for over a month now with a model from Arizona. This shoot was to be a nude, and we decided to go all out on the props. It didn't work out as I had expected, but I have so far found the results to be satisfying anyway.

The first thing we did was to collect about 15 dead trees and sink them in a plaster base so they would stand on their own. No easy task in itself. For this shoot, the studio area was one quarter of my fiancé's warehouse. We set up boxes and ladders, and attached two backdrops high and low.

Next we laid a flooring of carpet padding, and set the trees where we wanted them. Added some sprigs of wild grass, and sprinkled the whole set liberally with plaster.

Then we set up our lights, and added homemade diffusers. (I was not happy with the lighting setup, or my diffusers. Add something else to the shopping list please.)

Below are some photos of the setup as we were working on it. I'll post some images later tonight when I get them done ;)

Raising Poultry

2007-09-05T07:10:00.000-07:00

I am an old fashioned farm girl at heart, I always have been. I love the outdoors, hard work, animals, anything homey.

I started raising chickens last year, but had some disasters in the form of neighborhood animals and lost the lot. This year I lost quite a few due to my own pet, so we went to a great deal of trouble of building a poultry pen in the back yard near an existing shed which we are in the process of converting into a hen house.

This is the pen from the front, behind me is our house. (Excuse the yard, it's messy and still a a work in progress.)

What I like about it's positioning is that while the birds get lots of full sunlight during the day, there is also plenty of shelter on both sides for winter months and summer storms.

Inside the pen we've cut a hole leading into the hen house, with a shelter covering the low ramp and a bale of hay to provide additional wind reprieve.

The younger chicks tend to hang out under the ramp at the moment.

From the inside the doorway looks like this:

We need to enlarge it a bit for the Turkey we've just acquired.

We are still working on the inside of the shed to make it a poultry palace. :) It's still got a few of my things in it, but we have plans to build nesting boxes and install permanent heat lamps.

The area seen at the top of the hen house in the photo above as well as the one below are actually covered in thick Plexiglas which allows some ambient light, but no drafts.

These are the temporary shelves for the birds to roost on, but we are building better roosts in the next couple of weeks.

The light is movable, and far enough away from the smaller birds as not to overheat them or cause a fire. It encourages them to all come inside after dark, as well as providing the needed heat until they are fully feathered out.

The turkey hasn't shown much inclination toward social activity so far, though he isn't afraid of being handled. I think he is still traumatized from being separated from his flock. I have no experience in raising Turkeys so far, so I am reading up like crazy and worry like a mother hen. (pardon the pun.)

I also acquired two new Chickens yesterday, but I don't know what breed they are yet. Love their floppy heads. :) These guys wouldn't roost inside, I hope they change their minds come cold weather.

Overall I am a happy chick...(pun again) I have my little bitty corner farm-like area, and I'm as pleased as pie. ;)

The Best of the Best

2007-08-06T13:21:00.000-07:00

Quick, name your top ten favorite computer and/or internet applications!

If you are like me, the difficulty isn't in finding ten, it's in narrowing it down to ten.

Here's a few of mine, narrowed not by numbers, but in which ones I use at least once a day, (These are in no particular order):

1. Picasa - From the website: Picasa is a free software download from Google that helps you: Locate and organize all the photos on your computer, Edit and add effects to your photos with a few simple clicks, Share your photos with others through email, prints, and on the web: it’s fast, easy and free. See a better and in depth review from PC Magazine here, and download it for yourself free here.

2. Gmail - From the website: Gmail is Google's free webmail service. It comes with built-in Google search technology and over 2,600 megabytes of storage (and growing every day). You can keep all your important messages, files and pictures forever, use search to quickly and easily find anything you're looking for, and make sense of it all with a new way of viewing messages as part of conversations. There is way more to Gmail than I can begin to tell you here, but lets just say it changed my life, and not simply because of the way it handles email. I am never on the internet that I am not using Gmail. Find it here.

3. StockXchange - A photography site that offers a huge selection of Royalty free images for it members, and membership is also free. While there are restrictions, (you cannot resell the images you find there and a few other very sensible requirements) for the most part the images are available for your needs. For everything from webdesign, to personal desktop use, from creating your own greeting cards to finding the perfect image for a magazine article, you'll find it all here.

4. Dreamstime - Another stock photography site that offers a fantastic photos and illustrations to members. Dreamstime membership is also free, however the images here are not free. But these images comes at extremely reasonable prices, as low as $1 if you need a single image for your project, and as low as 26 cents of you buy a subscription. You'll find it all here.

5. Google Calendar- Google Calendar, part of every Gmail account, is every great calendar I have ever had, except it is web-based, so it follows me wherever I am . Customizable calendars allow you to create as many calendars for as many of parts of your life you need to track, which you can keep private, allow certain viewers, or make totally public at your discretion. Not to mention it's handy feature that can either email reminders directly to your Gmail account, or toss a pop-up at ya when you tell it to. I couldn't live without this program.

6. Google Documents - Like Google Calendar, this is an extension of your Gmail account and totally accessible on any computer with access to the internet. Even if you do not have commonly used word processing programs such as Microsoft Word, or spreadsheet programs such as Excel, you can save, edit, and even share your documents in this application.

7. GoDaddy - GoDaddy provides great web hosting, domain services and more for great prices, ease of use, and all with excellent customer service. I have heard and read some negative feedback about GoDaddy, but even after having used other companies for all my web hosting and domain registration needs, I find that GoDaddy has, for the past three years, given me the best value for my dollar, and all with no complaints. Find them here.

8. DreamWeaver - This is not inexpensive software, but I have tried other options, including FrontPage, and I simply love Dreamweaver. The learning curve wasn't too steep since I had some web building experience, and I have found in Dreamweaver the ability to be truly creative without difficulty.

9. Adobe Photoshop - I don't have to say much here. It's not like you haven't heard of Adobe Photoshop. I am only including it here because I do use it daily. It's a significant part of my budget, but well worth it.

10. Mozilla Firefox - It took me a long time to convert to Mozilla Firefox , despite the fact that tech minded friends I have had urged me to do so for a long time. I was well used to IE and was strangely afraid of the change. (Fear, perhaps, of looking like a newbie again on the internet.) It is a wonderful browser, however, and has changed the way I see the internet. Safe, secure, and so much easier to use than I ever expected. And it's full of fantastic add-ons I am addicted to. (see below.) Interested? Find it here.

11.StumbleUpon - StumbleUpon is this great add-on button that attaches to the browser window of Firefox. It's the coolest thing I have seen in a long time, and way addicting, as half a dozen people I have introduced you can testify to. With a single click to the button you can "Stumble" around the internet and view some amazing sites you might never have the luck to see without it. Or you have the ability to tighten the search pattern and find anything you might be looking for. Like the site?" Give it a thumbs up. Hate it? Give it a thumbs down. It adjusts itself to your likes and dislikes as you go... learning and customizing your viewing experience for you. What's cool about StumbleUpon is that unlike your average search engine, you don't go to the sites that are rated highest because of the keywords embedded in the page, or because the site has paid to be put first on the search list. You see what is getting the most thumbs up from millions of users just like yourself. Fantastic. Dying to try it? Find it here.

Okay, so that was eleven. I could go on and on and on. But I'll stop now, give you something to mull over. Have some sites you love of your own? Send them to me.. I'd love to try them out!

First Wedding Images

2007-08-04T23:38:00.000-07:00

I shot my first wedding today, and it was an amazing experience.

The couple are friends of mine, Jonathan and Tina Baca.

So much went perfectly, and more than a few things went wrong. Some of the mistakes could have been avoided with planning, others perhaps not. Over all the whole day was a success and I believe Jon and Tina will be thrilled with their images.

If I could do it all over again the thing I'd change is that i would try and find a better place to do the after wedding photos, such as those for the wedding party. I am not sure there would have been a better option, but I wasn't happy with the areas and lighting we used.

What I was most happy about? I brought an assistant, Crystal, and without her I'd have gaffed the whole thing. A good assistant is everything.

I can't show you all the images, there were well over 500, but here's a sampling. :)

Fantasy Anyone?

2007-08-03T10:29:00.000-07:00

My dear friend, Tim of almost eleven years brought to me the most charming young woman the other day, Shannon. Shannon had agreed to do a photo shoot.

I hadn't planned on any particular image, there was no set design, no special costumes. She showed up, we played around for an hour or two, and I messed around with the final images in Photoshop.

The results were extremely satisfying to me. The top one here especially, it has a mood I absolutely relish. I call the top One "Wishes", the bottom one I've named three or four times, but nothing sticks because the names just don't go with the photo.

Why do I like these images so much? They tell a story to me, I can hear the words, feel the rhythm of each line in my head. I could take these photos and create an entire narrative from each story with little effort.

This is what I really look for in one of my photographs.

Sometimes I get lucky and get several images like this from a shoot, sometimes I fail miserably. Most often the disappointing productions stem from some attempt to either do shoots like I have seen other photographers do, or because I am trying to please someone else. Trying to create images from someones else's head is not a good idea for me.

I like to let go... be creative from the heart. Having fun is part of the key, low expectations tends to be another part of the puzzle.

Being myself... it sets me free. :)

Making Custom Signature Stamps

2007-08-02T12:08:00.000-07:00

I love Adobe Photoshop, as many people do, and I am constantly finding new uses for it. There are tools in Adobe that I know how to use well, and some I don't know how to use so well. Once in awhile I stumble across someone else's tutorial on how to create a special effect or use a tool I hadn't considered or understood, and I just love it.

Last year I finally figured out how to create my own brushes, which changed the way I do so many things. I will be explaining how to do this today, but as part of the lesson, I am going to explain how to create your own signature stamp. I am going to assume for times sake that you know how to do the basics in Photoshop, such as create a new project and entering text.

Open your new project, you can make the dimensions as big or large as you like, but I'd keep it within the screen so you can view it easily. Mine is 500 x 300 pixels. I am first going to do a simple "Signature". (I won't use my real signature as I don't want everyone on the world wide web to know how to sign my name.)

Type in the text you like, color doesn't matter, but font does. Choose the font and the size of the font you like and enter the appropriate size. Mine looks like this:

I used Ariel Rounded MT Bold and 36 for the font size. (If you make your signature too small it looks bad when you resize it, but you can make it smaller to some degree and it retains it's original look.)

Flatten your image and select the signature. (Keep the selection edges as close to the text as possible so as not to get too much background.) Then go to Edit> Define Brush Preset> and Type in a name for your new brush.

This will create a brush in the current brush set you are using. You can view the brush by open the paintbrush tool and scrolling to the bottom. I have a blank paintbrush tool set I use just for saving new brushes in.

You can create your own by deleting all the brushes in a set . Open the brush set and right click and tell it to delete, but make sure when you are finished you save it as a new brush set. Click the arrow at the top right hand corner of the Master Diameter tool and select Save Brushes. (see below)

Name it something new and easy to remember. I called mine "Dawn's Signature Set".

If you choose another brush set, you will not see the new signature set until you close and reopen Photoshop. If you do not save the new brush set before you close Photoshop you will lose your new signature brush.

I like to make an assortment of brushes for my signatures. Some plain, some fancy. Different sigs for different moods. One of my newer and more favorite signatures started with this:

You can copy and save that image if you'd like to create your own with it. I entered my own name and the year, with a little symbol in the center and I got this:

The font I used for this was Batik Regular, because I wanted that weathered look. (stamps don't have much crispness about them normally.) You can achieve the rotated font by a number of means, but I personally added each letter individually and used the Edit> Transform> Rotate tool to make each letter fit because I am picky that way.

Once saved you can do a number of things with your new brush or signature. I made a second stamp, this time with a postage stamp theme, and came up with this, that I intend on using as an email signature:
I don't know how clear this tutorial is, if you have questions, feel free to post them below and I'll try and make as much sense as possible. :) Hope you have fun with this!

When Dreams Come True

2007-07-30T14:50:00.000-07:00

I am a dreamer, I admit it. I spent more than a small portion of my youth daydreaming about all the places I hoped to go, all the people I wanted to meet, who I hoped to grow up to be.

Most every child can tell you what they want to be when they grow up. My first dream , when I was about five years old, was to have a family. My step-father, Ray Hise, built me a playhouse for Christmas one year. It was beautiful, but icy cold in the winter months. That didn't deter me. I spent every waking hour in that playhouse, pretending to have a husband and children I was cooking for. It was never a popular dream when I was growing up in the late years of women liberation, the sixties and early seventies when modern woman embraced her right to be single and work. As I grew up I understood the equality issues, and womens rights issues, but I never stopped seeing being part of a family of my own as something to be embraced.

By the time I was eight I was considering jobs, and my new dream was to be a veterinarian. I have always loved animals, and I saw this as a way to be near my closest friends. I wasn't considering money, I was too young to think about income those days. I never really pursued this line of work, but I dreamed about it for years.

As a teen my interests moved toward art. I had discovered painting, sketching, and pottery. I had a wonderful teacher at Lumberton High School in North Carolina named Betty McKiethan. She took a hobby of mine and turned it into passion that consumed most of my waking hours. She encouraged me and a few other of her students to make art our living. I didn't have a lot of confidence however, and I joined the Navy instead, hoping to see a little bit of the world and find out a little more about myself.

During those years and the years following, my dreams kind of buried themselves. I gave myself up to the idea that I would waitress, or work as a cashier for the rest of my life. By the time I was 21 I had experienced a failed marriage and so much heartache that I wasn't sure I had too many dreams left.

Life has a funny way of surprising you.

I turned 42 this year, and recently I realized that in some sense most of my dreams have come true. I have a beautiful family, and more love than I could have ever hoped for. Though I have never become a veterinarian, I have many animals that I cherish and care for, and I have plans to volunteer for a wild animals rescue in the near future. And as far as art, it is still who I am.

I am a full time photographer these days, incorporating my artistic creativity into every apsect of the shoots, and I am due to have my first public gallery show in a few weeks here in Albuquerque. My family will be there, and one of my pets is in the show. :)

If that isn't a dream come true, what is?

Just My Luck :)

2007-06-18T13:28:00.000-07:00

We drove out to the family reunion in Texas this weekend. Three cars, a total of twelve of us trudged 990 and something miles just southwest of Dallas to a lake near Comanche, Texas, where I was born and much of my family still resides. It is more beautiful than I remember out there. It was great fun seeing people, some who I haven't seen in one, two and even three decades.

I took some great photos... lovely kaes scenes, butterflies, wildflowers, bugs of all kinds, water doplets and clouded skies. And of course a ton of family pics.

I downloaded them to my sons laptop so I could reuse my digital card. and of course his computer crashed last night before I could save the images to my own files.

It was a great trip, with any luck I'll be back with the pics to show you soon. ;)

Good to smile :)

2007-06-11T16:35:00.001-07:00

My sisters Birthday was last Friday, and we went to dinner together. It was nice, if you can get past the migraines I have been experiencing.

Anyway, she showed me a photo she keeps clipped to her sun visor:

Yeah, that she and me when I was about four and she was about two years old. I was a fairly happy kid, she was as tolerant of me as she could stand to be. We didn't become real friends until about four years ago. Now I'd venture to say we are best friends. She called me the other day and told me how much she loved me because of this picture and a few others she had come across. It seems she noticed I always had my arm or arms around her, laughing and looking as happy as I could be just to be in her presence, (which is not a far cry from the truth) and for years she just hated me touching her at all. Now she appreciates my love for her, returning it hardily.

Maybe the moral of the story here could be that if you love someone long enough they might love you back. But I prefer to think that the joy was just in loving at all.

I have been neglecting this blog in lieu of my Enchanted Ramblings. Posting pics and whatnot. It's so easy to get back into the groove of writing.

On the Edge of Relaxation

2007-06-08T11:51:00.001-07:00

I love Fridays.

I probably shouldn't, because they not only signal the end of my work week, but they also highlight just how badly I manage my time during the five days I have to get things done. Yet, despite the fact that I have so much left to do and only hours left to do it in, I already am excited by the prospect of relaxing a little bit.

Okay, fine. Maybe the word "relaxing" for me is taking it too far. On a typical Saturday I wake at 7 am, leap out of bed, dress, brush my teeth, and start cleaning house. Somewhere around 1pm I garden an hour or so, and then I get ready for whatever real chores or other work I have set aside for the afternoon. My weekends stay busy, but usually with the things I have wanted to do all week and could not.
It's my own personal time, and I look forward to it.

(Pictured above is my son, Logan Mimna, doing a "stall" on his elbow.)

Good Things

2007-06-07T17:48:00.000-07:00

It is only June, and so hot already. With Temperatures already in the 90's some days, I am dreading the coming "hotter" summer months. I have hoped to do some outdoor shoots, but the bright light and heat limits my shooting time to a couple of hours in the morning and a few in the evening. I prefer the late day tones, but the remaining heat makes it fairly miserable if the shoot is more than half an hour. I have set up a temporary studio in a warehouse, but it is not air conditioned, so I need to think up some alternate possibilities.

I am in the middle of planning a shoot with another local photographer who I like quite a bit, Mark White. I enjoy his work, and I think we might create something good together. We both have some good things to bring to the table, so I am excited to see the results.

I am going to be part of a gallery show in September through October of this year. It will be at the Downtown Contemporary Art Center, here in Albuquerque, and is called 1 x 20. A cool concept, one model photographed by 20 photographers. Twenty different styles, ideas. I am looking forward to the opening.

I also just started a new job as the photographer for Posh New Mexico Magazine. It's a great opportunity, and the publishers are great people. I get to use my creative eye in a setting I haven't tried before. I know I keep saying this... but I am excited!

So many good things happening all at once. I've worked hard, and expect to work harder yet, earn the good things that come to me.

(View from my backyard of a storm meeting a sunset, 2007)

Tuning In

2007-06-01T00:06:00.000-07:00

Well, as predicted, I am not good at keeping up a journal. My focus has rotated almost totally toward photography and my design work, squished nicely in the middle of parenthood, and a few miscellaneous projects I have on the side.

I am a board member now for the New Mexico Art League, a very worth while organization, and I am excited to imagine what kind of things might lay in store in the coming year.

The past few months have been full of spring and sunshine, gardening, and making pottery, and several new photo shoots. One of the most recent was for an up and coming gallery show which I am excited to be a part of this next September. I'll hopefully get around to posting some of that information shortly. ;)

It's late, I languish, and so I am off to bed. Tune in again, if there is even anyone out there looking at this at all, and perhaps I'll throw in something of interest soon.

Notes and Love :)

2006-12-04T14:46:00.000-08:00

Let's face it, I am not good at posting on a regular basis. I miss Poetry Dance, but my life is too mad and overwhelmed to maintain a project of that size, and nobody is up to lending a hand. However, despite my lack of ability to scribe here often, the need to do so strangely obsesses me now and again, so I suspect I'll keep the blog for when I feel the urge.

I recently purchased a new camera, the Canon 400d, otherwise known as the Canon Digital Rebel XTi. I love all incredible 10 megapixel's of the thing. I haven't had the opportunity to use it as prolifically as I would like, but that should be remedied shortly. I have upcoming gigs with three models and a weekend portrait session with a child. Happy day :)

The weather locally has been nippy, and strangely enough ... I love it. Bits of crusty snow are left in my front yard where it stormed last week. I am wishfully hoping it will bluster and blow before Christmas, but I suspect it will be warm and balmy as usual. That's okay, Christmas is celebrated with gusto whatever the weather or financial state may be at my home.

I have not written any poetry or stories lately, and I find myself itching madly to do so. Maybe I will surprise everyone with a treat in the next few days.

Other than that, it's all normal, which is simply peachy.

Hope all my buddies out there are happy and warm wherever you are.... hugs and kisses to you all. :)

Little Road Trip

2006-09-27T08:33:00.000-07:00

I have a ton of news, but it'll have to wait. I 'm driving down to Roswell to drop off material and paychecks today.

I love driving!

Juggling

2006-09-20T18:08:00.000-07:00

Like the average human my life is comprised of a number of activities, requirements, needs, callings, desires, and responsibilities which I juggle as best as I am able. I am not good at time management, nor organization, or objectivity for that matter. So I find myself with way too much to do and way too little time to do it in.

It's enough to make me crazy.

It would be easy enough to relieve the stress. I could take on less when people ask for help. I could let the housekeeping slide, or let go of some of my "projects" so I'd have more time to sleep. I could do any number of things that would be a good idea.

Instead I went ahead and installed DSL at home again so I could stay up all night and have more time in my day for other items.

I do so much of my work online. I create and send clients their designs, manage my photography, volunteer for an organization which restores damaged photos for Katrina victims, manage my stock photography, work as an approver for three photography sites, enjoy my blogs and several newsgroups, and so much more. It's at least two hours a day when I am in a hurry, six when I splurge. Some say I am addicted, but most people somehow see real-time in the office space as different than real-time on my workspace with the computer.

Bottom line... I needed more daytime hours, so I created the space.

I'd say it would make for less juggling, but I suspect I'll fill the extra minutes with new projects and commitments.

I'm nutz that way.

Studio Woes

2006-09-14T15:59:00.000-07:00

Well, I went by the studio. I shouldn't have. ::sigh:: The sign below is what greeted me. Ack.

Slippage

2006-09-14T15:53:00.000-07:00

In time
all friendships slip away
into the haze, into the gray
for reasons I don't understand
all friends soon slip
right through my hands
Perhaps because I don't take care
to keep close watch
when they are there
I've never had the chance to ask
why friends all slip right through my grasp.
(1985)

Ailments and Joys

2006-08-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

Ah, it's nice to feel well. Nicer yet when you've been sick for awhile.

I always appreciate good health, but never more than when I have experienced a bout of illness for an extended length of time. I don't still feel tip-top, as with many extended periods of sickness I am left with a feeling of continual tiredness. A kind of noodle-limb-listlessness that doesn't seem in any hurry to vacate my body.

Hmmph.

Well, I'm not complaining, because at least the nausea has taken leave. I can live, for the moment at least, with tiredness.

Part of my icky feelings, I am sure, come from the predominance of pollen in the New Mexico air. Take a little drive north of the Albuquerque and you will view flowers blooming in abundance as far as the eye can see. Yellows, purples, reds, oranges, blues.... the mesas and meadows are exploding in color, and it is simply gorgeous. Not good for my sinuses, but worth the pain, if you ask me.

We drove up to Wagon Mound yesterday to finish the float for the parade, (Which is on Monday) and the drive was breath taking. I took the back route, through Stanley, Galisteo, and Eldorado. From there it is a simple drive up I-25 past Pecos and Las Vegas. I only needed an hour to work on the float, and then we had lunch with Betty, Clint, and Fritz before doing a little local exploring. (We saw the owls again... four of them... stunning. I tried to get photos but I wasn't willing to encroach too closely and there wasn't enough light from afar.) By the time we were ready to go it was only 2pm and we still made it to the house before 5:00.

I bought a steak and some mushrooms, a little bottle of wine and kicked back for the rest of the night to watch a couple of old movies with my house windows thrown open wide. The air in the evenings is a cool 45 degrees, and makes for a relaxing atmosphere.

It was a good day. A good night as well. Hopefully I'll make it out to the plains area in the next few days for some more photos, but here are a few until then, from yesterday . :)

Guilt Trips and other Useless Vacations

2006-08-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

My friend and I were having a discussion on relationships the other day, and he asked me for advice.

I'm not huge on giving out my personal opinions to the lovelorn. I don't have a great track record, having had two divorces and a slew of seriously messed up shorts. But I seemed to have figured a few things out on this one, (smooches to you Brian!) and the querry my friend posed I couldn't help but respond to.

I can't tell you how we got there, but the subject at question was guilt, and the effectiveness of it in motivating a loved one to do what we want them to do for us.

I'll tell you right up front, here and now, I am not a fan of guilt. It has it's place, I'll grant you that. I've tendered more than a few apologies, and moved myself to great lengths to right wrongs I have done because of the niggling feelings I couldn't ignore.

But the truth is that guilt is most effective when I wield it against myself. When someone else brandishes it against me, I find that the overwhelming sense I have isn't remorse, but distaste and resentment.

Consider the programs on television which ask you to donate "pennies a day" to help unfortunate children. And the articles and newsclips that show suffering starving people in other parts of the world. If guilt was an effective tool, there would be an overwhelming response and poverty would be at an end, or at least visably assuaged. But what I notice is that the worse the image, the deeper emotional response, the quicker people seem to be to turn the channel.

I've noticed the same thing in relationships. Guilt doesn't always encourage the "guilty" party to change thier ways. They usually just change the channel. Enough guilt, or any other bad feeling, can be grounds for terminating a relationship.

It's an understandable response.

First, the reaction to a great deal of guilt seems to be:"If I make you so unhappy... if I can do nothing but wrong everytime I turn around, then perhaps you'd be better off with someone else."

If you think about the last great relationship you experienced (in love or friendship, the premise applies to both) I suspect you'll find that the other person made you feel good about yourself. You smiled, laughed, and in general enjoyed your time with this other person a great deal. We are most often in relationships with others, whether we know it or not, because of the way they make us feel. We're often drawn to those who can create for us a sense that we are worthwhile, fun, intelligent, sexy .... whatever. (We all have something in particular we are looking for, the bottom line is that it makes us feel good.)

So where does that take me with the guilt issue? Well, obviously, guilt doesn't make someone feel good. Rather the opposite. So it seems to me that the best way to get somone to do what you want them to do isn't to guilt them into it.

Make them feel good instead.

Make them feel so good they want to make you feel good.

It's a never ending reciprocation that has nothing but positive outcomes. If that's manipulation, then manipulate me.

It's beats the hell out of guilt any day.

Whining Loudly

2006-08-08T13:51:00.000-07:00

Okay. If you read my blog, (and you probably don't, I don't think anyone does... but's that's okay) you know all about my studio. Either way, there's been an "issue" with my beloved space, and I hafta share.

For those of you who don't read the blog, about two months ago I was excited because my assistant and I decided to go out on a limb and get a studio. My mother owns some apartments and she let me one for a very reasonable rate. That gives me two large rooms for studios, a dressing room, storage space, a full bath, a kitchen, and on top of it all it is in an area of town considered to be "prime commercial" so I have easy access to customers. First thing I did was to insure my equipment, my studio, and my belongings there.

Next I went all out and bought lights, and assorted other items I needed for my studio. I haven't finished it altogether, but it's been a working studio and I have appointments and more. I have been so thrilled.

Yesterday the city had contractors work on a sewer line near the house, the the sewer backed up and flooded the entire studio with disgusting waste. Anything touching the floor or near it was soaked, and is a total loss. The city recommends a hazardous waste team come in and do a clean and destroy mission. :(

I did not carry a flood damage policy, nor did my mother. We live in the desert, and you simply don't expect floods here. The city isn't liable, and we have to prove the contractors to be at fault, which could prove tricky. I am soooo bummed.

My camera and laptop were safe, thank God. But I still feel a need to mope.

So, here I am ... whining with the best of them.

Unexpected Discoveries

2006-08-04T14:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever found a website by accident?

I used to more than I do these days. When I first started browsing the web I would start out looking for something specific, and end up getting distracted by all the cool sidelines. Before I knew it I had found all sorts of wonderful pages, and totally forgotten where I had wanted to go in the first place. (I'm sure my ADD was a huge help in each explorative adventure.)

I've grown a little more disciplined since then. I can generally ignore those tiny offshoots and keep my eye on the prize. But every once in awhile I stumble on something that catches my attention and "poof" I'm off again. It's not a bad thing, I enjoy my finds. It goes with my whole spontaneous thing.

Today I went to check my mail at Gmail. (Which, btw, I could write a whole entry on, I love this product. I couldn't live without it.) In my hurried self-assured way of typing I had made a mistake and typed in 'gamil" instead. (Is there such thing as "Typing Dyslexic"?) I found this very cool site: Gamil

I almost ignored the site, the primal urge to know who might have sent me an email is overpowering sometimes. But there is a small disclaimer at the bottom of the page that somehow caught my eye: "You may have arrived here by misspelling Gmail. We understand. Typing fast is not our strongest skill. We have met a lot of new friends online though and our web traffic is through the roof from visitors from all over the world. So we're putting ads here to help us pay for all the bandwidth. "

I like humor. Dry humor, sarcastic and acidic suits my tastes just fine. So I obliged them and checked out their ads. But while I was there I had a look at the site, and the company, itself.

These are cool peeps. I was there five minutes and I decided I had to own their tea infuser called the TeaStick. I love innovative people. And Gamil has impressed me on three levels.

First, they took what could be potentially devastating traffic and made humor out of it. They took the problem of too much traffic and asked visitors to click on ads to generate money to help with the extra bandwidth, and didn't whine. (Oh I hate whiners.)

Second, they have a nice, clean website that is easy to navigate, and they clearly have talent. And that talent extends to a few very cool inventions, among them the TeaStick.

Third, they used used the gmail/gamil problem to give them an opportunity to market said products. This, it seems to me is an example of the difference between getting by and becoming successful. Opportunity knocks, but not everyone hears the knocking. These guys not only opened the door, they gave opportunity the grand tour of their house.

A lot of things come to us by accident. Being prepared to take advantage of the accident is a matter of vision. I only typed badly, and I found an item I will most certainly purchase. Gamil had more than earned the business.

Makes ya rethink think marketing a little, doesn't it?

Making Magic

2006-08-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

I love to smile.... enthusiasm powers me. While I have a fairly ordered life, spontanaity is still a part of me left over from my youth which I treasure beyond words. Nothing like an impromtu picnic, a drive to some surprise destination at the last moment with a friend or family member, or giving into an urge to do something unexpected for a dear one.

So imagine how happy I am when the love of my life, Brian, brings me little tidbits of affection from wherever he may be working for the week. I never know when to expect these things, and there is no guessing what he might present me with. he knows me well, and his gifts are as much designed to please me as to make me laugh.

He's brought me crawfish for my fish tank, seedlings for my garden, and unusual pottery because he knows the patterns will set off my imagination. A box of empty thread spools because I might like them for crafts, sweets and chocolates and a t-shirt. For Valentines day he gave me a 9mm automatic because he knows that while I don't like hnting, I love to go to a shooting range. (Let me tell you the grief he got from his friends over that one!) He brought me little snakes and scorpions, (I'm a tomboy... he knows me well) a quilt, a camera bag and a tripod he found at a garage sale. For the most part, it's not the money he's spent... the items are usually found somewhere and he just knows me well enough to know what will make me smile.

That's real magic. Real love. Better than money or any superficial show of affection. It's caring enough to get to know someone, and taking the time to think of them when it isn't always convenient.

I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Studio Work

2006-08-01T16:18:00.000-07:00

My new studio is coming along. I still have some equipment to buy and a piece of furniture or two I am yearning for. But over all it works nicely. Two studio rooms, a bathroom, a changing room, a costume closet, a kitchen, and a ton of storage and in the Nob Hill District. Not bad at all. ;)

When I have it the way I want it I will run an ad and rent it to other photographers by the day or hour. Help cover some overhead costs.

I have tried to do as many shoots as possible, but I need to step it up. I have some goals I want to meet and I need to work in a variety of shoots before fall.

Right now I have been focusing on models and fashion photography. It doesn't pay much, (yet) but it's fun and I learn a great deal as I go.

I hope to do some infant and maternity shots this month, and I have to work on my stock galleries.

Anyway, it's the end of the day and I thought I'd post a few photos I really like from this past week. Then it's home for me and some blessed sleep.

Stacy © 2006

Megan © 2006

Amy © 2006

Amy © 2006

Floating Away

2006-08-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

I have a reputation among my family and friends for being able to solve problems and come up with creative ideas. Frequently someone will call me for advice or help with something that has stumped them. Sometimes I deserve this show of confidence, but often as not I am stumped as to why they would call me. Regardless of the reason, I find myself complimented by the show of confidence, and I all too often over-commit myself out of some sense of responsibilty.

The most recent example of this happened last month when my Unlce Fritz gave me a call.

Fritz has lived in Albuquerque since I was a small child, but he grew up in a small village called Wagon Mound.

Named Wagon Mound because the top of the butte
resembles the very top of a covered wagon as seen here:

Every year on Labor Day Wagon Mound residents celebrate Bean Day, when many of those who grew up in this diminishing village and moved away come home to enjoy comraderie, a free fare of beans and barbeque, and a small parade which is delightful in the way it is reminicent of times which otherwise seem long gone. Last year Fritz invited me to attend Bean Day with him, and I was caught up in the smiles, home town friendliness, buildings which reminded me of western towns from some old movie, and - of course - the parade. That was the best part.

So, when Uncle Fritz called me up and asked if I could help him build a float for Bean Day, more specifically, a float in the shape of the Wagon Mound itself, how could I say no?

My friend Crystal and I packed our bags Friday morning of last week and drove up to Wagon Mound the back way from my house (through the beautiful area which runs through Gallisteo) we pulled into Wagon Mound and arrived at the beautiful home of Clinton Ballard and his wife Betty Medina. Betty is a gracious hostess and was so sweet to open her home to us. We made ourselves at home in the rooms she provided, changed our clothes and had a bite to eat, and proceeded to the garage where the frame I had designed for the float waited for us.
The garage belongs to Felipe Garcia, and he opened it up for us.

Clinton had built the frame before we arrived, and had plenty of stucco wire available. Fritz had purchased the paint, the plaster, and there was a ton of paper in piles nearby. In the following five hours or so we wrapped the frame in wire, stuffed it with crumpled paper and pushed and manipulated it it into it's basic shape, and then began the process of covering it with a plaster papier mâchè. We covered it about one sixth of the way before retiring for the evening.

Back at Betty and Clinton's home we enjoyed a traditional New Mexican meal of pasole, beans, papitas and tortillas before ending our evening exhausted.

The next morning Crystal and I popped up at 6 am and went out on a photography spree (more of that later .. those pics deserve an entry of thier own) and returned by 8:45 in time for a quick breakfast and then it was back to work.

This time the group from the day before was joined by Adonilia Menzor, Edna Mae and Amadeo Gallegos, and Raquel Encinias. The extra hands upped the pace and the float began to take on the shape and form of the Wagon Mound. By 3:30 we were worn out, but had pretty much finished the papier mâchè part and were applying the last coat of plaster. Betty and some of the others agreed to work on the final plastering and perhaps some of the basic paint coating before I return in about two weeks to do the actual detail paintwork which will finish the float.

It was a long two days, but rewarding. :)

Crystal and I went home by way of a long drive up into Mora and down through Las Vegas (the NM version) and back home the way we had come. It took me two days to get over the aches and pains of the weekend, but the satisfaction is palpable.

So, one more trip to finish the float, and then it's back for Bean Day to see our creation waddle down the streets of Wagon Mound. :)

Floating Away :)

Cooking up alternatives...

2006-07-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

So, time have been hard lately. Nothing new, times are always hard financially, and when you have a family of seven that comes as no surprise. We thought that having Logan and Keri, our two oldest, go to work would change the burden, but it didn't really. Between the cost of skyrocketing fuel and the long 45 minute drive to work daily, and other prices rising we seem to be falling behaind rather than catching up.

This is life.

But I found it funny this past Saturday because of something I caught myself saying.

You see, we haven't had propane since last February, because we just can't afford it. (We have a large tank, and it is several bundred dollars to fill it up.) We managed the chill of the house fairly well until summer came, so now we don't need it for heat anymore. And we have an electric water heater and a microwave, so we've been doing okay.

Most days I eat in town, usually salads because the the heat (salads are so refreashing in the swealtering heat) and the cost of fast food. But the other day I was at the grocery store and I decided to spring for a TV dinner, and I caught myself refering to it as "real food". What I meant was that I wanted meat and veggies, and I wanted them hot. Real food has come to mean a complete meal that can't be classifed as a side dish. Once upon a time, real food was stuff that wasn't pre-made or frozen. Healthy foods that take time and effort to create. Dinners that bring everyone to the table in excitement, where we can have family time.

Don't get me wrong, I still make meals. I have an assortment of kitchen wonders that enable me to cook "better" food. It's just not as easy to whip up a fantastic meal with a electric skillet, a toaster over, and a microwave.

So, in a sense, because of the price of fuel, TV dinners have become a replacement ... and we seem to have grown distant as a family in many ways as well. Funny how things have a chain reaction.

We've got plans to fill the tank in a couple of weeks. So I'll have a stove again, for awhile at least. But it's been an eye opener.

Back to the Blog

2006-07-21T00:33:00.000-07:00

I've been away for awhile. I have come to the conclussion that this is part of my life, and that I can't count on things rolling along blithely or on time.

This is okay, for me anyway, I just have to acknowledge it. Makes my life easier when I don't over commit.

As always, photography has taken the drivers seat. I have a studio now, and the pace has picked up quite a bit. My photography is improving, my circle widening.

My health has been an issue, we thought for several months that I had cancer, and that scared the bejesus out of me. Happy day... I am just getting old. ;)

Life changes, it's a good thing. I recognize it, andI am working on flowing with it.

I am coming back to my blogs, I miss writing. Don't expect a great deal of depth from me, I am going to shoot from the hop and what you get will be what you get. :)

It's good to be here again :)

2006-05-04T14:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes places seem lonely, but they really aren't. :)
A place in your life that may feel deserted may actually be an opportunity.Peaceful, wide open, nothing but imagination.

Grumbling with a smile :)

2006-03-15T12:45:00.000-08:00

So, let me tell you a little about how things are going on here lately. It's kinda one of those things where I think, "how lucky I am" one second, and the next I am thanking, "Oh my lord, can it get worse?".

I have been trying to get my photography business off the ground, and it has been going well, with the exception of not having enough time, having illnesses that slay me, customers who don't show up, shoots that go wrong and no studio.

Seriously. Last month it was a retro-virus that made it difficult to touch or hold anything. This month it is migraines that make me physically ill.

I am, however, doing better. My reputation is starting to get me fairly constant business, and some of my personal projects are really taking off. I have some projects I hope to send to a publisher next year, and it is finally starting to look possible. So, I tell myself daily that the stumbling blocks are challenges, and that I just need to put one foot in front of the other, because eventually it will pay off.

This, my friends, is optimism.

My kids are doing well. By this I mean we are happy, close, and have lotsa hope. Because I am in the process of contacting a lawyer to sue one school, I have another child who needs an after school program I can't find nor provide, and we are currently living in a home with no heat (no propane) and no water (turned off yesterday). We get internet access at my work, (day job where I am office manager) and very little else in the way of extras.

My oldest boy starts a job this weekend, and that will help. Hopefully some of my photo shoots will bring in enough to make ends meet. This has just been an expensive winter. Yet, I think how lucky we are to have cars, a house we aren't losing to bankruptcy, a family who loves one another, enough to eat, and our health.

Someone I care about a great deal is expected to pass away tomorrow or tonight from cancer. It is hard to say goodbye, but he's ready to go. He reminds me that what you have today is better than anything you can hope for tomorrow. Who can complain in the face of that.

I spend a lot of time on the internet. It's time away from things I can't solve, smiles in the face of adversity. Creativity and accomplishment when I feel stuck or in a rut.

Thanks to all my friends out there who let me be myself and don't begrudge me my wacko personality. I love you. :)

Grateful

2006-03-14T13:34:00.000-08:00

I saw this photo and the first thought I had was "OMG.... who'd buy that thing?" My second thought was... well, that I would have just a few lonely years ago.

Being lonely isn't funny, though the props may certainly be. I can laugh at it now. Hell, I laughed at then quite often, but lonely was hard on me.

I spend a lot of alone these days, Brian works out of town about 20 days out of thirty. But thanks to how secure I feel in our relationship, and the fact that I have learned to enjoy my own company more than ever, I don't ache the way I used to all night long.

So, I am grateful. Thought I'd make a note of it and share. ;)

Magnet Poetry

2006-03-14T13:21:00.000-08:00

I did some poems today for The Poetry Dance Hall, we're doing magnet poetry over there. I thought I'd spread 'em out over my various blogs so I could share 'em with all my friends.

Here's one of them:

It isn't as easy as it looks.... but it's fun! Try it if you like, and post them in your own blog!

I did this one at: Magnetic Poetry

The Skunk

2006-03-07T09:06:00.000-08:00

For those of you who keep up with my blog (It's not that it's hard to keep up with... I never write in it much anymore because of the photograhy business, it's more or less boring these days) you may remember I mentioned a skunk under the building I work in.

The skunk was caught, and released, and my office now smells almost normal.

I thought I'd take a moment to share some pics. :)

Traveling is Good

2006-02-15T14:29:00.000-08:00

This is a sketch I did when I used to live in Sicily. My husband was stationed there, this was after I had already gotten out of the Navy myself, and my son and I went there with him. It was a fabulous three years. I learned Italian, learned to cook the wonderful food, learned a lot of wonderful things. It made me appreciate a lot of things I hadn't before (like the price of American fuel, and having things like a washer and dryer and telephone in my home) and gave me a taste for things I hadn't had here (I miss the way everyone sat outside at night at talked to their neighbors, and outdoor mercados).

I want travel for my children. I love them and would miss them if they left (I miss them when they are gone for the night, much less living somewhere else) but as a parent I want what is best for them. And I truly believe that seeing more of the world you live in helps you grow and learn in a way nothing else can. We are more than a product of the neighborhood we grow up in.

I have family members that have encouraged their children not to go away on trips because it would be too far away. They managed to keep their family close to them, but at what cost?

My oldest boy, Logan, wants to go to Japan. He'd like to learn the language and the culture. If I could secure him a spot at a University there I would let him go tomorrow. It'd break my heart to say goodbye, but I'd be joyful at the prospect that he'd have that opportunity.

Aside from the fact that he'd get to see and do things, he'd have the opportunity to hear the views of others beyond his own borders and let them get to know him and his own values. We had a wonderful exchange student last summer from France, Aude. She loved it here so much she has a journal she calls I love America. How nice it would be if we could have more interaction with others and they could come away with that sentiment. My friends don't like me because I live in the same city or neighborhood. They like me because they got to know me, and vice-versa.

Travel also has the added bonus of opening your mind for possibilities. I think if my kids travel they'll come away with the sense that nothing is beyond their reach, be it another shoreline, or a career they wish to pursue. I can't think of a better lesson to teach them :)

Ewwww Du Toilette

2005-12-22T14:08:00.000-08:00

I work semi-full time for a construction company as an Office Manager. Sometime several months ago we noticed a very icky odor coming from the bathroom area, which happens to be on one of the corners of the building. I assumed it was a plumbing issue, gases or something.

It smelled a lot like skunk, but we'd seen no skunk and have a concrete foundation, so I attributed the odor to bad construction and we've been trying to figure out how to overcome the disgusting smell.

It has only grown worse. AND since the warm summer months have flown by and the air has grown chilly, I have had to start shutting the doors to keep warm, inadvertently enclosing the smell in too.

In the last six weeks the insidious smell began to show up in my office, and in my closet. Not all the time, the smell is worse off and on, and almost non-existent at other times.

We finally decided it was a skunk, and have been making plans to get our hands on a trap or something. (We found a hole burrowed under the building, though we have yet to actually see the culprit.)

I wasn't in a hurry, I had semi grown used to the smell, and didn't know what other course to take than to hope fate would figure out a solution.

However, yesterday as I visited a client of mine (discussing photos they were to buy for their offices) someone noted out loud that they could smell skunk.

I froze, and tried to strangle the wail I wanted to make firmly in my throat before it could escape. Unsure if my fears were correct, I went to my sister shortly after and asked her to smell me.

Sure enough, I smelled of skunk.

She assured me it was mild and not too horrible. Needless to say I didn't feel a bit better.

Mortified I slunk back to my offices and called around until I found a city agency that would lend me a skunk trap.

No luck yet, the office is still as perfumed as it was yesterday, and because of it I will be going nowhere until I can go home and bathe and change.

I am still horrified. But this is how my life works, seriously.

Have I told you about my luck lately? It stinks.

Lyrics

2005-12-15T11:28:00.000-08:00

Part of what spurred me to write that last entry was the way I feel this Christmas. Sad that so much has changed for me, and all that I can't share with my kids.

I know I can make it what I need it to be with the right attitude, and this beautiful song on my blog (below) by Faith Hill says it all splendidly.

For those of you who have interest, here are the words:

"Where Are You Christmas"

...

Where are you Christmas

Why can't I find you

Why have you gone away

Where is the laughter

You used to bring me

Why can't I hear music play

...

My world is changing

I'm rearranging

Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas

Do you remember

The one you used to know

I'm not the same one

See what the time's done

Is that why you have let me go

...

Christmas is here

Everywhere, oh

Christmas is here

If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind

You will feel like Christmas all the time

...

I feel you Christmas

I know I've found you

You never fade away

The joy of Christmas

Stays here inside us

Fills each and every heart with love

...

Where are you Christmas

Fill your heart with love

...

Confessions

2005-12-15T09:54:00.000-08:00

I remember when I first realized I was parenting for everyone else but my children.

Doing what other people expected me to do because I was unsure of my own parenting skills, or afraid of what they might say if they disapproved of my own methods.

This led to some moments I am ashamed of. I am a good parent, and I don't have to allow other peoples opinions or beliefs change what I know is right for my children and me. I finally learned, but sometimes I wished I had learned earlier.

Like all things, I tend to not learn from my mistakes. It would be nice if I could take an experience and the lesson learned, and apply it toward another part of my life. But alas, I am a rock.

I have a confession.

I have been afraid to talk about the fact that I am a Christian.

Afraid that if I did that many of the people who I enjoy through reciprocated visits in blogs and journals and websites will be offended and not visit me anymore.

I am ashamed that I set my own beliefs aside because I hoped to have friends. The truth is that real friends will accept me even if they don't care for my beliefs, just as I do for them. I had forgotten this truth. It took me years to figure this out... elementary school was a nightmare for me, trying to make friends with kids who were too self-centered to be kind. Me trying to be what I wasn't for the sake of acceptance.

Acceptance isn't worth selling yourself out for.

So here it is. I am a Christian.

A hard-core, old fashioned Bible-thumping, God-worshipping, believer-of-Jesus girl.

I am proud of my beliefs. I don't press them on others, unless invited to do so. But neither should I have to hide them because someone else finds them offensive. I grew up in a world my children will never see. A world where cursing was unacceptable on television or radio, where porn and sex didn't belong in public, where Christmas was a time for celebration and good will toward all men and women, (Oh how I miss the decorations downtown and in the store windows! It was so cheerful!) and a time when respecting others was a good thing.

No, this doesn’t mean that I think if someone isn't Christian they are not good people. It doesn't mean I don't respect the religious beliefs of others (or lack thereof) and their rights to practice their own beliefs. It just means that I think there are a lot of people out there who hate religion, and Christians in particular, and have declared war on anything they don't like. The ACLU has wandered far past protecting the rights of others and charged into the practice of tramping over anything anyone wants to complain about.

My son claims to be an atheist and even he thinks it is all ridiculous. The other day he said, "Pretty soon it is going to be like we are in some Orson Wells book, everyone taking medication so we won't have any emotions and won't accidentally say or do anything to hurt anyone else’s feelings!"

Ah, anyway. Agree with me, or don't agree with me. Don't visit my blog anymore if you find me offensive.

It's okay.

I have a right to be myself, and who I am includes an undeniable part of me who loves God and is proud to be part of a wonderful group of people who call themselves Christian.

For those of you who will visit me anyway, thanks.

It's good to have real friends

Road Trip

2005-11-22T12:58:00.000-08:00

I am driving to Roswell tomorrow. Depending on who you are it is either the site of where Aliens landed (and possibly still hang with the locals) or the dairy capital of the Southwest. (The governing body of Roswell doesn't care for the Alien thing... think they are in denial?)

Either way it is a long drive with little to see between. I am on my way to pick up my cousin and childhood playmate, Nicky. She lives there with her husband and his family, and is coming home to Albuquerque to be with family here during the holiday. Instead of her hopping a Greyhound I opted to have some one on one time with her.

I am taking my camera. I am not sure why. Perhaps I am hoping I will see some lone tumbleweed which has some characteristic that might make me famous. Or better yet... an alien. (Though the only type of alien I think I might find is the kind that comes from Mexico.)

No radio between here anbd there, so I will have plenty of time to ponder and create stuff in my head. That in itself is scary.

Roswell.

:)

Not that Cold Yet

2005-11-22T12:53:00.000-08:00

Nope. It hasn't snowed here yet. This was last year, and at the time I loved it.

This year propane is ridiculously high and I can't afford to get the tank filled, so I worry. We certainly won't freeze, but that doesn't mean that comfort is in my future.

I had a friend once who would have griped at me that comfort is way too high a priority in my life. But ya know, I am forty now, and my bones already complain when it is warm. Imagining getting out of bed in a room that is below 30 degrees makes me wanna cry.

Call me a baby, but I am not repenting.

Reflections

2005-11-22T08:15:00.000-08:00

Photo by Dawn Allynn

I just realized something. I thought I was bothered by this whole AOL thing, but I am not. Not for myself anyway.

My concern about what is going on with the ads bothers me because it is effecting the people I care about who journal in AOL, I know some people who are really bummed and dragged down by this whole thing. I know there was a time it would have floored me as well, so I can understand the reaction. As a loyal AOL Member for ... dang ... eleven years, I had a lot of emotional stuff vested in AOL for a long time. So I empathize with my friends, and hate to see the impact it is having on some of my buddies.

But for myself, I cannot say that this is a bad thing.

When I first came to AOL I was into Chat rooms, and role playing. After awhile the chat rooms became crude and the people in them were immature. AOL had decided to get rid of the chat room moderators, so people who like to start trouble had nothing to fear. Role playing was also invaded by the immature crude crowd who liked to jump in and start arguments for the sake of it. (Called flamers... it is best to ignore these guys, but not always easy to do.)

Later I belonged to "lists" where I traded graphics and tutorials and poetry and recipes with like minded people. Made lotsa fun friends. That was great for awhile, but like everything else, gets old after awhile. I only have so much room on my computer for all the cool stuff people can send me, and four hundred emails a day can grow tiresome.

Then I began participating in Forums... mostly the short story and poetry contests. That was a real highlight for awhile. But again, AOL decided to cut back and get rid of moderators, so the whole thing kinda went away.

I discovered journals about three years ago, and though I considered outside blogs, I decided to stick with AOL and go that route. I have been bothered by the fact that I am a paying customer, yet non-AOL customers could have journals for free. Now they are advertising on my journal.

At the prices I have paid for AOL it just isn't worth all of this frustration. Besides the constant cut backs and changes, I am always having posting issues, email that won't send or save, graphics that won't save in the right format. Billing issues, nasty customer service guys I can't understand on the phone, and software that frankly screws my computer up more with each upgrade.

I like these journals. I like the ability to manipulate HTML, and add photos easier, and have more of a say so about what goes in it and how it will look and sound and feel. I like that I have a wider group of people I can meet and who can visit and post. It's a challenge and an opportunity, and I am excited about it.

I am concerned I will end up here alone.

Yeah, that's true. Maybe I'll write here day after day and nobody will come visit, and that would be sad. But I have to think maybe I have made enough friends that this won't happen. And Lord knows there's lots of great new people out there I am looking forward to meeting.

In any case, I have never been the kind of girl to settle, and I was settling at AOL.

This will be good for me, I believe. Moving into any new home and neighborhood is scary.... but it always involves new doorways and new opportunities.

::grins:: I think maybe I'll have a housewarming after the holidays...lol. Anyone wanna come?