Thursday, December 22, 2005

Ewwww Du Toilette

I work semi-full time for a construction company as an Office Manager. Sometime several months ago we noticed a very icky odor coming from the bathroom area, which happens to be on one of the corners of the building. I assumed it was a plumbing issue, gases or something.

It smelled a lot like skunk, but we'd seen no skunk and have a concrete foundation, so I attributed the odor to bad construction and we've been trying to figure out how to overcome the disgusting smell.

It has only grown worse. AND since the warm summer months have flown by and the air has grown chilly, I have had to start shutting the doors to keep warm, inadvertently enclosing the smell in too.

In the last six weeks the insidious smell began to show up in my office, and in my closet. Not all the time, the smell is worse off and on, and almost non-existent at other times.

We finally decided it was a skunk, and have been making plans to get our hands on a trap or something. (We found a hole burrowed under the building, though we have yet to actually see the culprit.)

I wasn't in a hurry, I had semi grown used to the smell, and didn't know what other course to take than to hope fate would figure out a solution.

However, yesterday as I visited a client of mine (discussing photos they were to buy for their offices) someone noted out loud that they could smell skunk.

I froze, and tried to strangle the wail I wanted to make firmly in my throat before it could escape. Unsure if my fears were correct, I went to my sister shortly after and asked her to smell me.

Sure enough, I smelled of skunk.

She assured me it was mild and not too horrible. Needless to say I didn't feel a bit better.

Mortified I slunk back to my offices and called around until I found a city agency that would lend me a skunk trap.

No luck yet, the office is still as perfumed as it was yesterday, and because of it I will be going nowhere until I can go home and bathe and change.

I am still horrified. But this is how my life works, seriously.

Have I told you about my luck lately? It stinks.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Lyrics

Part of what spurred me to write that last entry was the way I feel this Christmas. Sad that so much has changed for me, and all that I can't share with my kids.

I know I can make it what I need it to be with the right attitude, and this beautiful song on my blog (below) by Faith Hill says it all splendidly.

For those of you who have interest, here are the words:

"Where Are You Christmas"
...
Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play
...
My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too
..
Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go
...
Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh
If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time
...
I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love
...
Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love
...

Confessions

I remember when I first realized I was parenting for everyone else but my children.

Doing what other people expected me to do because I was unsure of my own parenting skills, or afraid of what they might say if they disapproved of my own methods.

This led to some moments I am ashamed of. I am a good parent, and I don't have to allow other peoples opinions or beliefs change what I know is right for my children and me. I finally learned, but sometimes I wished I had learned earlier.

Like all things, I tend to not learn from my mistakes. It would be nice if I could take an experience and the lesson learned, and apply it toward another part of my life. But alas, I am a rock.

I have a confession.

I have been afraid to talk about the fact that I am a Christian.

Afraid that if I did that many of the people who I enjoy through reciprocated visits in blogs and journals and websites will be offended and not visit me anymore.

I am ashamed that I set my own beliefs aside because I hoped to have friends. The truth is that real friends will accept me even if they don't care for my beliefs, just as I do for them. I had forgotten this truth. It took me years to figure this out... elementary school was a nightmare for me, trying to make friends with kids who were too self-centered to be kind. Me trying to be what I wasn't for the sake of acceptance.

Acceptance isn't worth selling yourself out for.

So here it is. I am a Christian.

A hard-core, old fashioned Bible-thumping, God-worshipping, believer-of-Jesus girl.

I am proud of my beliefs. I don't press them on others, unless invited to do so. But neither should I have to hide them because someone else finds them offensive. I grew up in a world my children will never see. A world where cursing was unacceptable on television or radio, where porn and sex didn't belong in public, where Christmas was a time for celebration and good will toward all men and women, (Oh how I miss the decorations downtown and in the store windows! It was so cheerful!) and a time when respecting others was a good thing.

No, this doesn’t mean that I think if someone isn't Christian they are not good people. It doesn't mean I don't respect the religious beliefs of others (or lack thereof) and their rights to practice their own beliefs. It just means that I think there are a lot of people out there who hate religion, and Christians in particular, and have declared war on anything they don't like. The ACLU has wandered far past protecting the rights of others and charged into the practice of tramping over anything anyone wants to complain about.

My son claims to be an atheist and even he thinks it is all ridiculous. The other day he said, "Pretty soon it is going to be like we are in some Orson Wells book, everyone taking medication so we won't have any emotions and won't accidentally say or do anything to hurt anyone else’s feelings!"

Ah, anyway. Agree with me, or don't agree with me. Don't visit my blog anymore if you find me offensive.

It's okay.

I have a right to be myself, and who I am includes an undeniable part of me who loves God and is proud to be part of a wonderful group of people who call themselves Christian.

For those of you who will visit me anyway, thanks.

It's good to have real friends