Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Mood Swings

What a life I live. Balanced somewhere between sweet joy and never ending frustrations. I have something to be thankful for in that I have the balance anyway. My ex-husband used to keep a journal of sorts, almost a poetry book. He wrote one or two liners that used to express his feelings at the moment.

One of my favorites was:
"I am angry with my friend today.
At least I have a friend to get mad at."

I feel that way alot these days. Had a huge fall-out with my sister on my birthday and it's not a pretty scene these days Fighting with both of my kids school's over their IEP's and other issues. Car problems, hormonal problems, house is absolutely disgusting, and I am too tired to clean it, or care.


This morning I put my two boys on a plane to Virginia to see their Dad. My youngest, David, was scared to fly because he is afraid of terrorists. I worked to calm and reassure him and not show my own echoing fear of the same. I can't change the way the world is, and I don't want my kids to be trapped by fear.

This is where I do the big sigh thing and grin kinda crooked.

On the other hand I have this great new camera, a Canon Digital Rebel XT, which I absolutely love. Got a nice package with it, including the EF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 Lens, a wide angle lens, three filters, a soft carrying case and a hard body case, a tripod, an extra battery, and a great extended warranty. I've taken over 1500 photos in the last few days, and over 600 of them were keepers. I am, as I have said before, obssessed.

Also, while I will miss and worry about my kiddos, I am glad to see them go somewhere. David has no memory of the ocean, and I want him to get out and see the world a little. Tonight they are going to this great seafood buffet in Virginia Beach that I used to love. Lemme tell ya, that's somethng for a mom to smile about.

Today the electric was shut off at work, so I have an excuse to go online at my mum's office, (hurray!) and enjoy myself a little.

There are reasons to have joy everywhere, I just have to stop for a bit and see em. :)
This is Kalikai, a sweet little girl who is affectionate beyond words:

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