Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Grumbling with a smile :)

So, let me tell you a little about how things are going on here lately. It's kinda one of those things where I think, "how lucky I am" one second, and the next I am thanking, "Oh my lord, can it get worse?".

I have been trying to get my photography business off the ground, and it has been going well, with the exception of not having enough time, having illnesses that slay me, customers who don't show up, shoots that go wrong and no studio.

Seriously. Last month it was a retro-virus that made it difficult to touch or hold anything. This month it is migraines that make me physically ill.

I am, however, doing better. My reputation is starting to get me fairly constant business, and some of my personal projects are really taking off. I have some projects I hope to send to a publisher next year, and it is finally starting to look possible. So, I tell myself daily that the stumbling blocks are challenges, and that I just need to put one foot in front of the other, because eventually it will pay off.

This, my friends, is optimism.

My kids are doing well. By this I mean we are happy, close, and have lotsa hope. Because I am in the process of contacting a lawyer to sue one school, I have another child who needs an after school program I can't find nor provide, and we are currently living in a home with no heat (no propane) and no water (turned off yesterday). We get internet access at my work, (day job where I am office manager) and very little else in the way of extras.

My oldest boy starts a job this weekend, and that will help. Hopefully some of my photo shoots will bring in enough to make ends meet. This has just been an expensive winter. Yet, I think how lucky we are to have cars, a house we aren't losing to bankruptcy, a family who loves one another, enough to eat, and our health.

Someone I care about a great deal is expected to pass away tomorrow or tonight from cancer. It is hard to say goodbye, but he's ready to go. He reminds me that what you have today is better than anything you can hope for tomorrow. Who can complain in the face of that.

I spend a lot of time on the internet. It's time away from things I can't solve, smiles in the face of adversity. Creativity and accomplishment when I feel stuck or in a rut.

Thanks to all my friends out there who let me be myself and don't begrudge me my wacko personality. I love you. :)

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