I am not one to bring my personal stuff, for the most part, to my journal at DA, I don't mind when other people do, but it's just not me.
But I find myself today unable to concentrate, and uninterested in the internet as a whole. As I mentioned in my last deviation, a friend of mine passed away last week and I just found out about it.
Kirk was a good guy, he came through Albuquerque some years ago on his way to other places and his car broke down. I met him through the veterans organization that I had been working for, (Kirk and I both were Veterans) and we became fast friends. A short time later he also came to work for the same veterans group, and he loved it. He was happy helping other people, excited to know he was making as change in other peoples lives.
Kirk and I grew close, and I got to know him very well. He loved New Mexico Green Chili, (there's nothing else like it, anywhere else) and he loved those little plastic trolls that have the fuzzy heads. He enjoyed fiction books especially the ones written by Terry Goodkind, The Sword of Truth fantasy series. He liked good movies, nature walks, and odd comedy bits. He liked to see other people smile more than almost anything.
He helped me pick out one of my dogs, Rua Cu, who at the time was cute and reminded us of a big red beagle with big girlie lips (He called her "Butter Lips" quite often, interjected with funny names that were a play on her real name like "Rua Poo" and Rua Chew" depending on the no-no's she was involved in at the moment.)
Kirk had a problem at times with substance abuse, but his last letter was filled with excitement that he'd been clean for years, something I am so glad of now, I know it was something he was proud of. He eventually moved back home near his family, who he spoke of often and wistfully while he was here. I know he was glad to be close to those people he loved most in his life. He struggled at times with inner demons that made staying in one place difficult, and so one day he moved on again, though we kept in touch. The last few years we wrote less and less, as some friends often do. He mentioned he had cancer, but I thought we had more time to chat. (Isn't that the way it always goes? I thought I had learned my lesson with John Ronin, a close friend of both Kirks and mine who was killed by a car ... but it seems I didn't...)
I got the note yesterday that Kirk had succumbed to cancer, and I didn't react fully, I guess I was numb from shock. It set in today while I was at work, and I find myself unable to concentrate on simple asks, I am so sorrowful.
Even though we hadn't been in contact so much, this is harder, knowing there is no chance now to speak to him. So I decided it would be a good idea to write about Kirk, remind myself why we were such good friends, and introduce him to you all, who never had a chance to get to know him, but should have.
I am going to take a day or two off from the computer, take some time to get myself back together and say goodbye privately. I'll be back soon, thanks for letting me share.