Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Biography of a family

How it works

Brian and I live in the East Mountains near Tijeras, New Mexico. I have full custody of Logan and David, who's father is in Virginia and sees them when he can. Brian shares custody of Keri, Mitchel, and Patrick with his ex-wife. Brian gets his kids Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Logan and Keri have drivers licenses and cars, though Logans is broken down at the moment. The ability of them to drive help hugely. The other boys, Mitch, Pat and David, get dragged around by whoever has the keys to the car.

Logan is the oldest, he'll be 17 in May. He's into Karate in a huge way. He took first place in his division last year at Nationals. He wants to work, and used to, but can't right now because he has no transportation until we get his Jeep working again. (It was stolen in January and when we got it back, it was damaged.) He goes to a Charter school in Albuquerque, a performing arts school where he is doing alot of dancing this year. (He enjoys old fashioned swing dancing like the did in the 30's and 40's, and has been doing Tango lately. This makes him quite popular with the girls.) He's independant, honest, funny. He's as responsible as I can expect him to be at 16. He has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) since he was seven years old, but has learned to manage it fairly well in the last couple of years. He has a large sense of honor and what is right, and a sense of humor that cracks me up even when I ought to be scolding him. He's easy to be around, and easy to like. Logan has a great relationship with me, and semi-easy relaionship with Brian and a father-like relationship with David. Logan and David room together. He gets along with Mitchel and Patrick most the time, (typical brothers) and he and Keri are off and on friends, depending on which way the wind is blowing.

Keri is the next to the oldest, she'll be 17 in July. She works at a pizza place a few days a week, and is in ROTC at school. She has won sharp shooter medals, and places well in competitions. She's a sports fanatic, and plays when she can. Academics are not her favroite, but she works to keep good grades because of her goals. She has a boyfriend, Shaun, and they've dating for about a year now, and spends a great deal of time with him. We see Keri the least around here, she's indepedant, and stays busy with things she does between school, work and friends. We've been working on improving our time with Keri, hoping to entice ehr to want to spend more time with us. She has a Good relationship with Brian, and uneasy one with me (we argued in January, and things have been tense) and she and Logan seem to be best of friends one moment and enemies the next. The other three boys seem to equally share the Titles of annoying little brothers.

Mitchel turned 14 in February. He is emotional, and he takes everything to heart and is either moody or happy. He took up guitar and seems to enjoy it. He likes the company of others mostly, and can entertain himself for hours watching movies with family if allowed to vegitate. He loves hunting (as do all of Brian's children) and building things, and he enjoys tearing things down. He has trouble in school, but that is almost always because he won't turn in homework. Friends and girls are big on his list of most important things. He tries to be friends with Logan, rather than brothers, yet has a competitive thing going with him. (He's always trying to prove he's bigger or stronger). He is close to Brian, and him and I get along well. He fights with Keri more often than not, though he loves her. He and Pat room together, and get along well as long as Patrick respects the fact that Mitchel wants to be in charge and in control.

Patrick will be 12 in July. He is outgoing, and though he isn't quite sure of himself yet, he's trying to define his own personaility. He plays guitar very well, and loves it. He is girl obsessed, and will talk for hours on the phone if someone doesn't intercede. He likes spending the night with his Granma Wanda on Saturdays (Brian's mom) so he can go to church with her on Sundays. Patrick is a bit of a slob, but will happily clean up anything you point to without much discussion. he tries hard to be amiable and helpful. He is very close to Brian, and tries to spend as much time with him as he can. Patrick and I get along very well. He likes Logan a lot, and enjoys sparrring and wrestling with him. Keri tends to take a motherly role with him, and he seems to be okay with it. He is fine with Mitchel and seems to have declared a truce by staying out of his way mostly. He and David are good friends, and play together alot. They fight now and then, but it is over as quick as it starts.

David turned 10 in February. He is one of the smartest kids I have ever met, and loves learning the way lots of kids like watching television. He is an avid skateboarder, and is obessed with games of all kinds. He get's angry easy, and reacts to frustrating situations too often by arguing, and often escalates into tantrums. He has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). He also has asthma, and gets frequent migraines. His friendships are important to him, but because he is so easy to frustrate his is often the target of mean kids. If I could give David anything, it would be the ability to be easier in the relationships in his life. He is a sweet, loving kid who reacts rather than be proactive, and it hurts him. David gets along very well with Brain, and treats him like a father for the most part. He and I have a great relationship. David sees Logan as half brother and half dad, and works hard to please Logan. David Loves Keri to death, and spends every minute he can with her. David seems to sense Mitchel finds him annoying, and I think he eggs it on. David likes Pat a great deal and has a good friendship with him.

Brian will be 39 in September, and is a very old fashioned kind of guy. I will be 40 in July, and I am quite a bit more liberal than he is, though I have some conservative leanings. Brian is a quite fellow for the most part, talking only when he really has something to say, where as I can talk for hours about virtually nothing. We've both been divorced, and had some hard times. We both see committment as absolute. We have similar values when it comes to family, home and religion, but often stray widely when it comes to politcis, cultural issues, his ex-wife. Anything that comes on the news is often fair game for hot debates. We grew up differently; Brian had s stable home with married parents, church, and lived in the same house until he grew up and got one of his own in the same town. I came from a family of multiple divorces, a tons of relocations, and a lot of trauma. Wherever we came from in the past, we both are in the same boat now. We both believe in family first. We believe in God, share most of the same morlas and values, and care about people. Throughout the day we frequently hug and are grateful we found one another. We will have difficulties and problems as long as we're together, I am sure. But I am equally as certain be together as long as we both live.

This family wasn't contrived, planned, or predicted. We stumbled on each other, fell in love, and we do whatever we have to do every hour of every day to make it work. That's what love and Family are about.

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